Here we go, season two! If you’re new here, welcome, I’m watching Twin Peaks for the first time and am sort-of live-tweeting the experience as I go. My expectations for this season, based solely on having only watched the first season once and having seen a few other David Lynch projects, are that this season will probably get a little stranger, and will probably resolve a few of the dangling threads (Who shoot Cooper? Who was the third man seen the night of Laura’s death? How can one small town supply the bizarre but fashionably opposite styles of both Jacobi and Jerry?) but will probably open up a whole heap more. Let’s get going!

The opening credits still feature the sawmill, so I’m guessing it either didn’t burn down completely, the opening credits will change soon, or that’s just how this show ill always start..

Miguel Ferrer is back for ep one! Wendy Robie is still in the credits too, so either Nadine’s suicide attempt failed, or she’s returning as Nadine’s cousin.

Is Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) dead? Surely not. Nope, not dead, but here’s our first new character, Old Man Waiter (Hank Worden, aged 90 and in his final role. Apparently his penultimate role was in an episode of the short-lived 1990 cop show musical Cop Rock, a show I continue to intend to watch, but have yet to start). The waiter brings Cooper warm milk and tells him “The milk’ll get cool on you…pretty soon.” Is this another dream sequence? He really makes a meal of replacing that phone handset. Cooper signs for the milk and gratuity whilst bleeding out, nice guy. That’s a proper thumbs up, and this is maybe my new favourite character. And he comes back, repeats the line and the thumbs up! Love this guy. Returns again with a wink and another thumb-up? OK, this guy is pushing it a little.

If that wasn’t a dream sequence, this sure as hell must be. A tall man (Carel Struycken), shot from ground level up so seems even taller, gives Cooper some ever-so-helpful clues: 1. There’s a man in a smiling bag. 2. The owls are not what they seem. 3. Without chemicals he points. And he takes Cooper’s ring!? Rude. “We want to help you.” Who the heck is this “We”? Another clue! 4.”Leo locked inside a hungry horse, there’s a clue inside Leo’s house.” Well that was cryptic and unhelpful. Sounds about right.

Oh god, the Ben/Audrey (Richard Beymer & Sherilyn Fenn) scene comes to fruition. Meanwhile Jerry (David Patrick Kelly) interrogates Blackie (Victoria Catlin) with a table lamp. Oh no no, Audrey doubles down, puts a conveniently placed white cat mask on when she realises it’s her father. He keeps on pursuing, much too close – on the same bed, swatting at her limbs, she swats him away until he’s called away by Jerry. I need this scene to be over, now.

Cooper is recording possibly his last works on his voice-activated recorder, he’s wearing a bulletproof vest but is still in a lot of pain and losing blood from the lowest of the three shots, as he’d folded his vest up when pursuing Jacques. His ring is missing, like Lurch said in the dream. “I would like to climb a tall hill, not too tall.” – Me, every day. Andy, Hawk and Harry (Harry Goaz, Michael Horse & Michael Ontkean) show up to save him, phew, and he wakes up in hospital, accompanied by Harry, Lucy (Kimmy Robertson) and Dr. Hayward (Warren Frost). The bullet hit a tick?!

Lucy does a great job catching Cooper (and any forgetful audience members) of what’s been going on: Leo was shot, Jacques strangled, mill burned down, Shelley and Pete got smoke inhalation, Catherine and Josie are missing, Nadine in a coma. He’s only been out a few hours but thinks it’s much longer.

Nope, the mill definitely burned down, those opening credits need updating soon.

OK, hold on a second, Leland (Ray Wise) now has white hair? And he’s singing and dancing, the happiest he’s ever been, all it took was a little murder (or another little murder)? Maddy (Sheryl Lee) had a dream about the rug, then a vision of blood appearing on the carpet. Is this where Leland killed Laura? Everyone is taking Leland’s new hair colour surprisingly well, Ben and Jerry just join in with his singing and dancing!

Hawk found more copies of Flesh World and Leo’s jacket stinking of gasoline. Albert (Miguel Ferrer) returns to watch Andy face-smack himself with a loose board, followed by a chicken-dance worthy of Arrested Development. Andy. still dancing, accidentally finds a stash of new boots and cocaine.

Maddy and Donna (Lara Flynn Boyle) trying on Laura’s sunglasses. Maddy removes and breaks her own presumably prescription glasses that she hates. So she just doesn’t want to see? James (James Hurley) spent the night in jail. I’m glad some people are concerned about Leland’s hair turning a different colour overnight. They receive a note reading “Look into the meals on wheels”, the program Laura worked on with Norma?

“Vigilante justice or just plain country living?”

Andy found out Leo Johnson (Eric DaRe) was locked in a Hungry Horse on the night Theresa Banks was murdered, so he has an alibi for that.

James being interviewed by Harry, plays him Jacoby’s tape. James remembers Laura talked about “playing with Bob”, possibly the red corvette driver, and he “really lights my fire”. H reveals to Cooper and Harry that Jacoby had the other half of Laura’s necklace, in a coconut. Donna shows up in femme fatale mode, sultry smoking and sunglasses, to see James. God, you could smoke anywhere in the 90s.

Cooper asks Lucy and Andy to find a picture of Theresa Banks in a copy of Flesh World. Not a task I’d enjoy or be good at (I’m quite bad at facial recognition).

A hospital gown is the most normal clothing we’ve seen Jacoby (Russ Tamblyn) in so far. Cooper asks how he got Laura’s necklace, Jacoby claims it was dropped by James and Donna in the woods the night Laura was killed. Laura was living a double life and maybe wanted to die, so instead of committing suicide she “allowed herself to be killed”. Jacoby remembers smelling scorched engine oil when Jacques was strangled.

Bobby (Dana Ashbrook) visits Shelley (Madchen Amick) in hospital, feels her up (consensually) she tells him she loves him, he responds with “I guess I love you too.” How sweet. Big Ed (Everett McGill) is smoking INSIDE A HOSPITAL! Bloody hell. He accidentally shot out Nadine’s missing eye on their honeymoon, Alfred finds this touching story so hilarious he cries. Ed stayed with Nadine out of guilt, “You make your bed, you lie in it.”

Cooper is looking for smiling bags everywhere, he sees a body bag hung up in restroom, draped in a smiling fashion.

Pete (Jack Nance) smells the various colours of hospital food paint, to his immediate regret. Norma (Peggy Lipton) visits Ronette (Phoebe Augustine), promises her better food. She sees Ed caring for the comatose Nadine.

Bobby’s father Major. Briggs (Don S. Davis), always in uniform, cannot tell his son what he does, classified. Father had a vision, not a dream, in the vision he hugged and was proud of his son. They part with a firm handshake and his father wishing him success in all things. This feels like the last time these two will ever see each other. Bobby has a flashback to possibly having seen Hank (Chris Mulkey) shoot Leo.

Cooper believes the “J” in Laura’s diary was James, so Laura could tell him she didn’t want to see him any more. Donuts being used as pieces in the map layout. Blood on “Fire walk with me” sign didn’t match Leo, Jacques, Ronette or Laura, so the third man is unknown but, for now, we’ll call him Leland.. Andy cries at reliving the crime, Albert makes fun of him, Andy makes a half-hearted stand against Albert. Laura and Jacques are dead, Leo and Ronette in comas, Waldo the bird is dead, only the third man left to talk to, but they don’t know who that is.

Pete feels like someone taped his lips to the tail pipe of a bus, due to the smoke inhalation. Letter from Josie not saying much. Catherine still missing. “She was plain Hell to live with, but once there was a little bit of Heaven there too.” Pete is possibly overplaying the grief, does he secretly know where Catherine is?

There’s a newcomer trying to find Josie. When he finds out she’s out of town, he calls Hong Kong instead.

Hank Jennings warmshis crotch on Ben’s fire. Tying up loose ends. Josie fled the fire, Leo shot but sadly not dead (“Chopping wood… INSIDE?”). “You’re a bicep, relax until we say flex.”

Ben is having Audrey punished (door locked, security guard) for not sleeping with him. I have no words, this is messed up.

The Palmers and the Haywards have supper together, yet no-one is stood staring and pointing at Leland’s hair. “As your doctor, what the hell happened to your hair?” Finally! Apparently it just changed overnight. Feels like a weight lifted, so Leland starts singing Get Happy, far too fast for the young Hayward daughter to keep up with, then Leland collapses. No surprise, he’s been dancing all day.

Audrey prays to her Special Agent about the note she left for Cooper, but he has yet to open it, lost on the floor. Cooper thinks the giant was a product of sleep deprivation, so in his sleep the giant returns with more information, “Don’t search for all the answers at once, a path is formed by laying one stone at a time. One person saw the third man. Three have seen him, yes, but not his body.” Ends by saying Cooper forgot something, but doesn’t say what, which is the most frustrating thing to ever be told.

Ronette screams awake in hospital, nightmare memory vision of the third man (guy from Cooper’s pre-red room dream?) possibly killing Laura and laughing about it.

New mysteries:
Is the Waiter real? – Man, who knows?
What did any of Cooper’s new dream mean?
Why did Leland’s hair turn white?
Where are Josie and Catherine?
Who is the guy looking for Josie?

Old Mysteries:
What happened to Laura?
Who assaulted Ronette, the other traumatised girl?
Who is the “J” Laura was anxious about meeting? – Cooper theorising it’s James.
Who was the shadowy figure behind Leo in the woods?
What did any of Cooper’s dream mean?
Who is the man in the red Corvette? – Some “Bob” fella.
Who is the third man seen on the night of Laura’s murder? – I’m still saying Leland.
Who is the father of Lucy’s child? – Probably Andy.
Who attacked Jacoby?
Who shot Cooper?