Now wait just a minute, DAVID DUCHONY is entering the cast!

This episode starts with just a super long shot of James (James Marshall) just riding his motorcycle, is this a particular light episode that required some padding?

Cooper and Harry (Kyle MacLachlan & Michael Ontkean) talk to Betty Briggs (Charlotte Stewart) about the Major (whose name we learn is Garland) disappearing. Confidentially, the Major talks about the woods constantly. It’s classified if he’s tried to communicate with aliens. We knew this, I think (space messages that said COOPERCOOPERCOOPER?) but still. Was the major abducted by aliens?

The Milford wedding is approaching, the police have got the wedding gift sorted. I’m still not clear on how there’s a wedding every few months for this guy, seems silly. Some guys just love canapes, I guess.

Call from Gordon Cole (David Lynch), sending Dennis Bryson from the DEA “He’s a good man, no nonsense” “Don’t let him rattle you, we’ve all had our socks tossed around from time to time, let a smile be your umbrella”, investigating the drug issue at One Eyed Jacks. Cooper’s Internal Affairs hearing “Agent Cooper, it’s showtime.”

“He may be packing feathers where his spine is supposed to be” Roger (Clarence Williams III) talking about people who lie in depositions. Cooper has no plans to lie or defend himself, believes in his actions. Cooper explains his mystical ethos, met with a “What the hell are you talking about?” from Roger, good, that’s the kind of response I feel has been lacking from this show. “I’m talking about seeing beyond fear, about looking at the world with love.”

Unclear if Cooper’s departing “So long, fellas” is aimed at Roger and his cohorts or the badge and gun he leaves due to his suspension. My guess is the latter.

Nadine (Wendy Robie) is talking to Donna (Lara Flynn Boyle) by the lockers at school, Nadine got a crush on Mike (Gary Hershberger) “He has the cutest buns!” “Sometimes Eddie acts like he’s old enough to be my father.”

James goes to a bar, yet another beautiful woman (Annette McCarthy) just starts talking to this weirdo. “Men are always all right, right up until they pull the trigger.” This lady has some stories to tell. Ah, she’s playing him to fix up her husband’s car before he gets home. “Mind if I play the box first?”

Dick Tremayne Designer Menswear (Ian Buchanan) shows off Little Nicky (Joshua Harris) to Andy (Harry Goaz), Nicky is Dick’s helping hands boy, who he just got fitted for a new wardrobe and wants to show off his child-rearing skills in front of Lucy (Kimmy Robertson). Only planned to take the kid for a malted, but only if Lucy with them. She’s helping at the wedding, so Andy offers to take them instead, seems utterly oblivious to any games Dick is playing.

Cooper asks Harry and Hawk (Michael Horse) about “The White Lodge”, Hawk’s people believe its a place where the spirits of nature reside. “The Black Lodge” is the opposite, where you meet your shadow self. Dennis Bryson arrives, “One of the finest minds in the DEA” In walks David Duchovny in a wig and drag. Certainly unexpected. “Dennis?” “It’s a long story but, actually I prefer Denise if you don’t mind.” So is this a joke that Bryson doesn’t have a fine mind because they’re now trans? I hope not, I had higher hopes for this show. Denise also staying at the Great Northern hotel. Cooper gets over the initial shock very quickly, Harry takes longer, Hawk doesn’t shake hands, but does comment “That’s a good colour for him.”

School gym, Mike working out, Nadine sets the leg press to maximum and pushes it with utter distracted ease. Coach (Ron Taylor) sees and offers her a try out for the wrestling team, makes sense (as much as any of this storyline makes sense).

Josie (Joan Chen) reveals all to Harry. She grew up in Hong Kong, poor family, a man (Mr. Eckhard?) helped her when she was a child, acted as her father, her master, her lover, taught her about business. She married Andrew Packard, but Eckhard wants Josie back, considers her to be his property, and tells Harry she believes Eckhard responsible for Andrew’s death, but didn’t she pay Hank to kill Andrew? Either way, she wants out from under Eckhard.

Roger at the Double RR, trying the pie Cooper raves about. Hank and Ernie (Chris Mulkey & James Booth) show up post-hunting, despite Norma’s mother Vivian having returned to Seattle without telling Ernie. Norma (Peggy Lipton) suggests he go there too, but it lets Ernie unload 4kg of drugs without having his new wife in the way.

Little Nicky causing havoc, blows whipped cream into Uncle Dick’s face, spins Andy’s stool so he falls on the floor. Both eager to show they don’t get angry at kids.

The lady James is talking to is Evelyn, who seems enthralled by the way James talks about the feeling he gets riding his bike, he’s welcome to stay in her upstairs room whilst fixing the car up, making me concerned about watching this on a train again, feels like a very bom-chicka-wah-wah setup.

Ben (Richard Beymer) is watching old home movies of opening the hotel when he and Jerry were kids, helping to dig the foundation (briefly, photo op), starts quoting Richard III and looking dishevelled and unshaved, spiralling out? Hank arrives, hears all about Ben’s tough week of being conned out of deals, arrested, and having his attorney revealed to be a “homicidal lunatic”. Hank wants to rub salt in the wound and talk about One Eyed Jacks, there’s been a “friendly takeover”, Hank doesn’t work for Ben anymore, now works for Jean Renault. “Life is change, this is how it’s gonna be.” “Don’t patronise me you goon!” Ben doesn’t take this news all that well, makes shadow puppets with his projector. I love that he called Hank a goon, might be the best thing Ben has done so far.

Cooper receives a cassette tape and chess move from Wyndham Earl, overanalysing chess moves. “At any cost, the king must die”

The Milford wedding, very young bride (Robyn Lively), very old groom (Tony Jay). The groom’s clearly even older brother (John Boyla) objects, groom too old, bride after his money. Is there any relevance to this, or just town colour?

Cooper meets Denise at the Melford wedding, she caught the bouquet because she’s a former wide receiver. Found cocaine on Cooper’s car, but agrees it looks like a frame-up, but needs proof. Denise posed as a transvestite for a specific undercover role, just sort of took to it. “Imagine how surprised I was, Coop.” The bride seems fascinated with Cooper, solved the Laura Palmer case. Pete (Jack Nance) putting on a brave face, surviving sharing a table with the bitter major. Cooper dancing with Audrey (Sherilyn Fenn), Harry happily dancing with Denise.

Josie tells Catherine (Piper Laurie) that Andrew was killed by Thomas Eckhard, Catherine already well aware. Tries to warn Catherine that she’s in danger too. “From now on, you work for me, here, at the house, as a maid.” Oooooo Catherine is mean. If Josie lies or stands up to her she’ll feed Josie to Eckhard, “by hand”. Demands breakfast at 7. Coffee, juice, dry toast, oatmeal. Ick, not a pleasant breakfast. OH SHIT, Andrew’s alive (Dan O’Herlihy)! “Everything’s going exactly as we planned.” Drawing Eckhard out with his “one true love,” presumably Josie. I genuinely didn’t even consider this direction for the show, good job everyone.

New mysteries:
Was Briggs abducted by aliens? Would he even tell us if he was?
What’s the deal with Andrew being alive? – Did Hank kill someone else? Did he almost kill Andrew? Who else is in on this? – Obviously Catherine knows, I’m assuming Pete doesn’t because he’s too nice.
What’s Eckhard going to do now? – Presumably arrive and try to save Josie.

Old Mysteries:
Who is the father of Lucy’s child?
Who attacked Jacoby?
Who shot Cooper?
Is the Waiter real?
What’s up with this Wyndham Earle character?
What’s with the magic Tremond kid?
Who was trying to call Harry at the police station?
If the owls are not what they seem, what are they?
Why does Nadine think she’s 18? Why is she super-strong now?
Who is Cousin Jonathan / Mr. Lee, really?
Why did Wyndham Earle send Cooper a chess move?
Where did Bob go? Is he an owl now?
Why were Bobby, Leo and Big Ed brought to the Poirot reveal scene?
Where’d James go? – Some other town, feel like he was just trying to get away from Twin Peaks, I kinda which everyone (including the show-makers) would just let him.
What happened to Maj. Briggs?