I think we’ve reached the point where this show is actively trying to shake me off, but I’m not going anywhere yet! I’d heard mention of some kind of “Red Room” in Lynch’s work at some point, but I didn’t know in what it would appear (there was every chance it was a scene from Mulholland Drive that I’d forgotten) but nope, it’s here, and it is distinctly weird. More on that later, for now let’s get into my thoughts on Twin Peaks Season 1, episode 2!

I watched this, as I’m sure David Lynch intended, on my laptop on a fairly busy and heavily delayed train, right up until there was a scene in what appeared to be a strip club, at which point the laptop was shut until the train carriage’s population density decreased to include no-one sat behind me. As it turns out there’s no nudity (fine by me), but better safe than sorry with these sorts of things. My laptop had 36% battery when I started watching, and without a power cable in my presence this viewing experience was tinged with an air of danger and excitement that I hope didn’t detract from my enjoyment of it.

Miguel Ferrer guest stars, hell yes.

Uncle Jerry (David Patrick Kelly) has arrived, another possible “J” for Laura to be meeting? And he brings with him an abundance of very bread-heavy brie and butter baguettes, so due to my recent lactose intolerance and my previous love for any kind of baguette with brie in it (preferably also including sausages and a caramelised onion chutney), I immediately disliked Jerry. This was not helped by his exploits in the rest of the episode. Audrey’s father Ben (Richard Beymer) is also spiralling further down the list of least likeable characters (“There’s a new girl at One-Eyed Jacks, freshly scented from the perfume counter… you’ve got a fifty-fifty shot at deflowering her.” Ugh.).

James and Donna (James Marshall and Lara Flynn Boyle) are still having dinner with her parents, they are very insistent that their daughter join them for church the next day at 9am. I was very relieved when we cut away from James and Donna kissing to the far more interesting and romantic waterfall.

There’s a one-armed man snooping around Ronette in Intensive Care. “A one-armed man?” “Left.”

Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) receives a note about “A Jack with One Eye,” so we’re of course meant to assume that’s regarding One-Eyed Jacks, but it’s so close to the actual name that it’s needlessly cryptic, so either it’s not about One-Eyed Jacks at all, whomever left it is very bad at the whole cryptic messages game, or they think Agent Cooper and the local law enforcement are too dumb to figure out anything more complicated.

Mike and Bobby (Gary Hershberger and Dana Ashbrook) leave some of the money they owe Leo (Eric DaRe) in an American football in the woods, only for him to be waiting for them, with a shadowy figure waiting behind him. It’s confirmed that the money was for drugs, and Laura put the rest of the money in a safety deposit box before she inconveniently died. Leo is an awful human being, but he knows how to best illuminate his face in order to emphasise his point. I’ve literally only just realised that it’s Bobby who’s been sleeping with Leo’s wife, Shelly (Madchen Amick). This feels like a very foolish move for Bobby, and doesn’t bode well for Shelly’s ability to be in a relationship with someone who isn’t a dirtbag.

Big Ed (Everett McGill) trying to manoeuvre round a spotless house with hands dripping oil is something I can really relate to. Nadine (Wendy Robie) stress-bending a home rowing machine when someone spills oil on her silent curtain runner invention is far less relatable.

Thrilled that Cooper has also compiled a list of the possible “J” suspects, but instead of my technique of blind speculation he’s using a far more interesting method involving a lecture on Tibet before throwing rocks at a glass bottle 60 feet away whilst the names are read aloud. Dr. Jacoby earns a hit but no break, Shelley Johnson earns a rock to the head for Deputy Andy (Harry Goaz, the crying crime scene photographer from the pilot) and a full bottle smash is achieved with Leo Johnson. James Hurley, Josie Packard, Johnny Hirne and Norma Jennings all have no result.

Audrey (Sherilyn Fenn) reveals her father Ben used to sing to Laura? Interesting. Also, Audrey just seems to enjoy dancing on her own in public spaces, good for her.

After Cooper’s presentation, Lucy (Kimmy Robertson) is reading a book on Tibet, and I continue to love her.

Miguel Ferrer has arrived, hooray! He’s Albert, a forensics genius lacking in social niceties, and I’m just as delighted as Cooper at the initial interaction between the abruptly insulting Albert and the far less blunt Sheriff Harry (Michael Ontkean).

Greased cotton ball runners! They are gonna be so rich!

A safe behind a secret bookcase? This truly is the stuff of dreams!

I continue to believe Laura’s father Leland (Ray Wise) is a bad guy and involved in the mystery, because here he’s willingly listening to jazz. He dances in a circle, scream-crying with a photo of Laura, but to me it reads far more like guilt than grief, exacerbated by the blood he smears on the photo after he cuts his hand on the frame.

Oh boy, here me go. Cooper has a dream. It involves the guy Mrs. Palmer saw hiding that one time. Another guy introduces himself as Mike, and the first guy is Bob. I have to presume these two are older versions of Mikey and Bobby?

And now we’re in the red room. Cooper is visibly older, there’s a guy (Michael J. Anderson, credited as “Man From Another Place”) and a lady (presumably this is Sheryl Lee) who looks like an alive Laura Palmer, but claims to not be her, but is filled with secrets. All the dialogue sounds like it was perhaps recorded backwards or toyed with in some way. The man dances an unusual dance and walks away, Not-Laura gives Cooper a kiss, a secret is whispered.

Cooper wakes up and, surprisingly, isn’t screaming. I don’t typically enjoy dream sequences, and I’m sure this wont be the last one from this series. I’m not desperate to go back to the Red Room anytime soon, though, I found it somewhat unsettling, in a manner that must be intentional. Cooper, on the other hand, was able to deduce who killed Laura, but is planning a full Poirot sequence in which he reveals his findings in the morning, and I can’t wait for what will surely be an incorrect or not complete conclusion, given we’re barely into this season yet.

New Mysteries:
Who is the shadowy figure with Leo? – I’m thinking it’s Ray Wise (because of course), and that interaction might explain his grief-dancing with Laura’s photo soon after.
What did any of the dream mean? – I got nothing. I’d kinda love it if the dream means sod all but Cooper ends up finding the killer(s) by investigating something completely irrelevant.
What did Cooper deduce? – I assume his assumption is based at least partially on the whispered secret we aren’t privy to, but we’ll see. Maybe.

Old Mysteries:
What happened to Laura? – No update yet, she’s alive and older in Cooper’s dream, so maybe she’s not dead? Is the corpse really Laura?
Who assaulted the other traumatised girl?
Where did the blood on Leo’s shirt come from?
Who is the “J” Laura was anxious about meeting? – Cooper’s teste points to Leo Johnson, with Dr. Jacobi now under suspicion, and Shelly Johnson possibly involved somehow. I’m not discounting Uncle Jerry, he feels like a wrong’un.

Solved Mysteries:
Who do Mike, Bobby and Laura owe Leo $10,000? – Drugs! Should’ve guessed, kids these days, amiright?