Only now am I putting together that Pete is the same Jack Nance from Eraserhead. Doy. Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) had a restless night involving sleep-chewing his earplugs, so starts the day with a yogic headstand, and finds the forgotten note from Audrey leading him to One Eyed Jacks.

Bobby (Dana Ashbrook) is trying out the assistance gear for Leo (Eric DaRe) from Mr. Pinkle (David L. Lander), who is in on the scheme, taking a cut so the gear is shoddy.

Ha, Leland’s (Ray Wise) trial takes place in the Bang Bang Bar. District Attorney Lodwick (Ritch Brinkley) survived his Double R cheeseburger. Harry (Michael Ontkean) surprisingly acts as a sort of character witness on behalf of Leland. Deputy Andy (Harry Goaz) doing a good courtroom sketch of Leland, but can only see him from behind. Leland released on a MURDER charger because of his good character. Bloody hell.

Donna (Lara Flynn Boyle) proposes she’ll tell Harold (Lenny von Dohlen) her life story (be part of his “living novel”) if she can read Laura’s diary, but he says he’ll read it to her, and she agrees. Silly Donna. But wait, she’s asking about him too, playing a longer game. “I grew up in books.” “…there’s things you can’t get in books.” Seductive Donna distraction, grabs the diary and beckons him outside, he stumbles out and has a seizure in the sunlight. So not agoraphobic, maybe he actually is a vampire?

Lawyers in Twin Peaks must have KFC colonel-style neck ties. “Perspicacity.” Defence witness (Van Dyke Parks) uses his own brain scan to show normalcy, humblebrag. I’m enjoying this judge (Royal Dano), takes a break and consults Harry and Cooper alongside half blue half brown cocktails produced by his assistant Sid (Claire Stansfield), beermats dealt out by Cooper. Cooper only been in town TWELVE DAYS! Wow this show moves slow. Oh, this is the 12th episode, one day per ep, I’m dumb.

Teenage-brained Nadine (Wendy Robie) still has super strength, accidentally rips fridge door off. I feel like this should be more prominently examined (both as a focal point of the show and in the world of the show itself) rather than just letting her go home. She’s a superhero!

Is Mr. Tojamura secretly someone else in disguise? It feels like it should maybe only be Josie (Joan Chen), otherwise we’re in dicey racial waters, even for the early 90s. Gets Ben’s attention with a cheque for $5,000,000. Hank, James and Cooper head in different directions in the hotel, Cooper amused by a duck-whistle. Wait, I misunderstood that, Tojamura represents Audrey’s kidnappers, $5M is the ransom required. Ben so blasé about the whole kidnapped daughter thing that I keep forgetting Audrey is kidnapped too! Ben gives Cooper the suitcase full of money, Hank in on the whole thing too, instructed by Ben to follow Cooper, try and bring back Audrey and the briefcase, if he can manage it.

Donna seems to have gotten over Maddy and James cheating, she and Maddy working together to get Laura’s diary from Harold. I’m glad the show isn’t centring on two female friends fighting over a frankly mediocre guy, he’s not worth it.

Cajun Michael Parks got Taxi Driver-esque forearm knives, planning to kill Audrey too. Audrey’s having a rough time of it, given that neither her kidnappers nor her ransom-paying father really seem all that bothered about her general wellbeing.

Lucy is visiting her sister, so Andy is filling in at the desk, covered in post-its, gets good news on his sperm test. “I’m a whole damn town! Whoooo!”

Cooper and Harry are planning to infiltrate One Eyed Jacks Audrey. Why not recruit more of the Bookhouse Boys? This feels like a big job, but they’re keeping it a secret.

Andy tries to call Lucy’s sister’s number, actually an abortion clinic, hangs up. “Oh my Gooooood!”.

Donna back at Harold’s, recounting story of her and Laura getting dolled up to go drinking with boys, smoking a cigarette as she does in the man’s orchid greenhouse, that cannot be a good idea. Donna dances “The Audrey,” spinning alone in the middle of an empty floor. Harold is entranced as she talks about herself and Laura going skinny dipping and kissing boys, the first time she fell in love. Then she drops cigarette ash on his nice wooden floor, awful behaviour.

Cooper and Harry staking out OEJ, Cooper distracted by an owl whilst Harry takes a guy out by hitting him in the balls, taping a blue plastic ball in his mouth then somehow knocking him out by ramming his head into swing doors. A miracle if no-one saw or heard the whole thing. Then they just kind of wander around the back rooms of OEJ with their unpleasant floral wallpaper.

Jean admits to Blackie that he prefers Nancy (Galyn Gorg) because she can offer him “Something new”.

Donna’s skinny-dipping story wasn’t the distraction, that’s getting Harold to show her his orchids and flirt over them, orchid as vagina. They kiss, Donna gives Maddy the torch-flash signal when Harold excuses himself for a moment, feel like the signal should’ve been given in advance of the orchid-based foreplay, but there we go.

Cooper makes Nancy lead him to Audrey. Cooper rescues a bleary-eyed Audrey whilst Harry watches Jean and Blackie. Jean kills Blackie with his forearm blade whilst they kiss! The bastard. I keep thinking Jean is Hank, similar-looking scumbags.

Armed henchman waiting for them at exit, Cooper has Audrey over his shoulder, Hawk (Michael Horse) shows up with a knife, “Good thing you guys cant keep a secret.” Still don’t know why he wasn’t involved, even just as a lookout, this whole time. Oh, Jean grabs his own doppelganger, Hank, from behind, finds Hank has the state prosecutor badge from Lodwick.

Harold has Laura’s diary in a secret bookcase shelf, sees Maddy getting it and grabs a weeding claw. “Are you looking for SECRETS?! Do you know what the ultimate secret is? Laura did. The secret of knowing who killed you.” Harold uses a weeding claw (my own gardening instrument of choice, ever since I saw the end of Identity) to CLAWS HIS OWN FACE. This guy is unhinged.

New mysteries:
When are Cooper and Sid going to hook up?

Old Mysteries:
What happened to Laura?
Who assaulted Ronette?
Who is the “J” Laura was anxious about meeting?
Who was the shadowy figure behind Leo in the woods?
What did any of Cooper’s dream mean?
Who is the third man seen on the night of Laura’s murder?
Who is the father of Lucy’s child? – Given Andy is now a whole damn town, he’s back in the running against Dick Tremayne Designer Menswear.
Who attacked Jacoby?
Who shot Cooper?
Is the Waiter real?
What did any of Cooper’s new dream mean?
Why did Leland’s hair turn white?
Where is Catherine? – Oh, I hadn’t considered that Catherine, the only missing character, might be Mr. Tojamura, although Piper Laurie isn’t in the opening credits (could be a bluff) and it feels somewhat problematic for her to be dressing up as an Asian man. Hmmmm.
What’s up with this Wyndham Earle character?
What’s with the magic Tremond kid?
Who is the Wildman? How does Leland know him?
Who was trying to call Harry at the police station?
If the owls are not what they seem, what are they?
Why can Maddy see Bob, but James and Donna can’t?
Why can’t Harold Smith go outside? – Causes him to freeze and go nuts?
Why does Nadine think she’s 18? Why is she super-strong now?
Why does Harold have Laura’s diary?
Who is M. T. Wentz?
Who is Mr. Tojamura? – Not sure if I want him to be a wholly new character or someone we already know.
Probably not M. T. Wentz.
What are Cooper and Harry going to do? – Rescuing Audrey! Good job, Bookhouse Boys!