Opens with train screeching, whispering, hospital machine beeping, super slow spinning zoom out from hole-filled hospital ceiling tiles. Leland (Ray Wise) looks haunted, being read his rights, waives his right to an attorney. Outright admits to killing Jacques for killing Laura (based on the evidence that “he was arrested for it”). Dr. Hayward (Warren Frost) witnessing it all behind Leland. Afterwards, Deputy Andy (Harry Goaz) asks if he can retake the sperm exam he “flunked”, gives Andy a pot to go fill whilst Doc waits in the car. Andy of course bumps into Lucy (Kimmy Robertson), who finds his copy of Flesh World on the way to the restrooms, lol. Post-session, Andy trips and drops the sample pot under the chair, Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) makes him freeze bent over to check out his boot tread. For most people this would be a notably embarrassing day, for Andy it’s just Wednesday. Cut to a waterfall, if I were in Andy’s position that’s all I’d need, no magazine required.

Michael Parks has been added to the cast, fantastic!

Ronette (Phoebe Augustine) is writhing and screaming, Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) notices her IV has been dyed and there’s a letter “B” under her fingernail. “I believe I was visited by a giant, twice; he left me three clues.” “Any relation to the dwarf?” – Albert.

Donna (Lara Flynn Boyle) visits Harold Smith (Lenny von Dohlen), Laura’s friendly Meals on Wheels customer, who points out that Donna is wearing a different sweater than yesterday, this one suits her better, because he’s a creeper? He doesn’t like to go outside – “cant” – and is younger than anyone expected. Harold used to be a horticulturist, he raises orchids, and wants Donna to place one on Laura’s grave for him. He basically lives in a greenhouse, and I’m getting seriously questionable vibes from him. “You’re every bit as lovely as Laura said you were.” “I’ll be back.” “I’ll be here.” Yeah, no shit.

So far the fingernail letters are “RBT”. Starting to spell trouble to me. The wildman has been seen by Mrs. Palmer, Cooper, Ronette and Maddy, also possibly the Log Lady’s log, if he’s the third man previously assumed to be Leland. “I’m a naysayer and hatchetman in the fight against violence.” I love the Albert/Harry (Miguel Ferrer/Michael Ontkean) spats. “Anything we should be working on?” “Walking without dragging your knuckles on the floor” “Speaking about knuckles” – Harry grabs Albert by the tie, Albert grabs him back by the shirt, just kiss already. Wait, Albert does say he loves Harry, buddhist beliefs, doesn’t believe in retaliation, all based in love. I love this guy.

Cooper gets Lucy (Kimmy Robertson) to list all words containing B, T and R, a truly ridiculous task even if she had the internet at her disposal, which she does not.. Lucy’s date arrives, Dick Tremayne, Designer Menswear (Ian Buchanan), who is THIS GUY. Sporting four layers, coat with arms not in sleeves, and such an expressive face. What a delight.

Silver fox Leland (Ray Wise) shows up with the wanted poster, he says he knows the wildman. Lived in the white house a few doors up, Robertson, RBT. “He used to flick matches at me. He’d say “You wanna play with fire, little boy?”” That’s gotta be a Fire Walk With Me reference, right?

Dick Tremayne, Designer Menswear eats with a fork “the European way” though I cant say I recognise it. Lucy’s lipstick is quite bright. Dick is Lucy’s baby’s father, “How ’bout a MATERNITY DRESS?!” She stands up in middle of the diner, but isn’t showing enough to make the impact this would make at 7 months. “Preggers, huh?” Dick Tremayne, Designer Menswear is clearly some kind of smarmy git, but damn he dresses well.

James (James Marshall) confides in Maddy (Sheryl Lee) that he’s concerned about Donna’s behaviour, Donna arrives to find them holding hands, Maddy consoling him. Harold was “bright, charming, intelligent… completely unlike anybody I know.” James cannot catch a break (nor should he, he sucks).

Blackie (Victoria Catlin) got Emory (Don Amendolia) to film Audrey (Sherilyn Fenn) being bound and gagged. She knows Audrey is Ben’s daughter, and plans to kidnap and ransom her! Emery concerned, knows Ben is powerful. Plot twist, is Audrey secretly Blackie’s daughter?

One-armed shoe sailsman (Mr. Gerard, Al Strobel) is showing Harry his wares. Needs “a shoe for all seasons”, but he looks a fright after seeing the wanted poster of the wildman. Shelley (Madchen Amick) is also there for questioning, but refuses to say anything against Leo (Eric DaRe), her husband in a coma. Cooper immediately sees through it as an insurance ploy, and Shelley isn’t the one behind it all. Gerard in the bathroom trying to shoot up – evidently tricky with only one arm – but he seems to be relatively successful, emerging from the stall speaking to the air that “I’m after you now…”

Ben (Richard Beymer) is just not concerned about Audrey’s disappearance, and Cooper is still being followed by the mystery man.

Audrey is being sleep-fed English caramel by Michael Parks (Jean Renault, ANOTHER J! Dead Jacques’ brother). “Candy’s dandy, huh?” Emory identifies Cooper as FBI on the OEJ CCTV. Michael Parks doing a fun cajun-esque accent. Jean wants to kill Cooper (so not the mystery shooter, as he didn’t know who Cooper was) for revenge, Blackie wants the money from the ransom, Jean also gets Nancy (Galyn Gorg), another lady working at the club.

“Remember in my dream, the one-armed man knew Bob” – Bob is Robertson, the Wildman. “Without chemicals, he points” – Cooper finds Gerard’s discarded syringe and assumes it’s pointing somewhere.

Doc (Warren Frost) has Nadine (Wendy Robie) strapped down, as she ripped out restraints yesterday and is pumping out lots of adrenaline. He advises Big Ed (Everett McGill) to sing to her, so once alone he sings Old Smokey until she clenches his hand too painfully and wrenches off her metal chains and claps like a mechanical monkey. She emerges from her coma believing she’s an 18-year old cheerleader awakening from tonsilitis treatment. Oh boy, what is this?

Cooper and Truman visit Jacoby (Russ Tamblyn) in hospital, where he’s receiving a foot rub from his WIFE (Jennifer Aquino), in his fruity pyjamas, leaf bedding, candles, and numerous other home comforts. Cooper hypnotises him (and almost Harry as well). Sensory memory recall, what does Jacoby remember from the room when Jacques Renault was smothered by Leland. Recognises Leland, but doesn’t name him.

Donna places the orchid on Laura’s grave for Harold, questions her tombstone, confesses the relationship between herself and James now that Laura is dead. “As much as I love you Laura, we always seemed to be solving your problems, and you know what, we still are! It’s almost as if they didn’t bury you deep enough!”

James goes to Maddy, angry about something, and they kiss, Donna sees them but smashes a lamp on the way out, Leland’s lamp. “DONNA! WHY?!” “All I did was come to her funeral, and I’ve fallen into a dream. People think I’m Laura, and I’m not, I’m nothing like her!” Leland consoles Maddy, only for Cooper and Harry to arrive and arrest him! That was faster than I expected. Donna then goes to Harold, didn’t know where else to go. Donna, snooping at Harold’s, fingers an orchid, finds a knife and a book inside of which says “This is the diary of Laura Palmer”!

New mysteries:
Why can’t Harold Smith go outside? – Agoraphobic? Bubble-Boy condition? Vampire?
Why does Nadine think she’s 18? Why is she super-strong now? – I have nothing, this is a truly bizarre and unforeseen turn of events.
Why does Harold have Laura’s diary? – My initial guess it’s a fake, one that Harold wrote to pretend to be closer to Laura.

Old Mysteries:
What happened to Laura?
Who assaulted Ronette?
Who is the “J” Laura was anxious about meeting? – Jean could now be added to this ever-expanding list, but I don’t think that’s a likely answer.
Who was the shadowy figure behind Leo in the woods?
What did any of Cooper’s dream mean?
Who is the man in the red Corvette? – Bob, the Wildman.
Who is the third man seen on the night of Laura’s murder? – Seems to be this Bob fella.
Who is the father of Lucy’s child? – I hope it’s Dick Tremayne, Designer Menswear, just so he stays in the show.
Who attacked Jacoby?
Who shot Cooper?
Is the Waiter real?
What did any of Cooper’s new dream mean?
Why did Leland’s hair turn white?
Where are Josie and Catherine?
Who is the guy looking for Josie?
What’s up with this Wyndham Earle character?
What’s with the magic Tremond kid?
Who is the Wildman? How does Leland know him?
Who was trying to call Harry at the police station? – Could be either the missing Josie or Catherine, perhaps?
If the owls are not what they seem, what are they?
Why can Maddy see Bob, but James and Donna can’t?

Is that a barbershop quartet behind Cooper and Albert (Kyle MacLachlan & Miguel Ferrer) at breakfast?! Albert has returned to Twin Peaks because of his colleague Agent Wyndham Earle, who is either now in an insane asylum, or has disappeared, I couldn’t quite follow. I’m guessing he has escaped from an insane asylum.

It’s the final episode of season one! I don’t know at what point planning began on season two, so my assumption before viewing is that this is all going to get wrapped up semi-neatly, with some light dangling threads to pick up next time around. Let’s find out!

Twin Peaks series one, episode six, let’s go!

My Twin Peaks coverage continues, here are my thoughts on Season 1 Episode 5: Cooper’s Dreams.

I’ll be honest, I’m starting to lose interest in this show. I’m coming to terms with maybe nothing ever being wrapped up cleanly, but I’m not sure I really care about the mysteries we’ve accrued so far. I’ll see this season out as I’m over halfway, but at this point I’m not committing myself to seasons two and three. We’ll see.

Another episode watched on a train (I’m doing a lot of that recently, don’t ask), but this time the train was pretty deserted. Here are my thoughts on the third episode, which is technically the fourth episode if you count the pilot, so I’m not sure exactly what number I’m on. Anyway.

I think we’ve reached the point where this show is actively trying to shake me off, but I’m not going anywhere yet! I’d heard mention of some kind of “Red Room” in Lynch’s work at some point, but I didn’t know in what it would appear (there was every chance it was a scene from Mulholland Drive that I’d forgotten) but nope, it’s here, and it is distinctly weird. More on that later, for now let’s get into my thoughts on Twin Peaks Season 1, episode 2!