The Breakfast Club

One Saturday, five kids from different social cliques are all brought in for a day’s detention. Over the course of the day, they’ll find that their generic labels – the athlete (Emilio Estevez), the princess (Molly Ringwald), the brain (Anthony Michael Hall), the criminal (Judd Nelson) and the basket case (Ally Sheedy) – may not reveal every detail about their respective personalities.
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Breakfast at Tiffany’s

In New York, a horrid freeloader by the name of Holly Golightly flitters through life utterly oblivious to how vile and despicable she is, mooching off everyone, never doing anything to benefit society and aiding criminals along the way. She receives a new upstairs neighbour, Paul Varjak (George Peppard), whom she insists on calling Fred because that’s how frustrating a creature she is. Paul is a semi-failed penniless writer working as a sort-of escort on the side. He is bemused by Holly’s lifestyle and inexplicably falls for her, despite her gold-digging tendencies and his own significant lack of funds.
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A Little Chaos

Kind Louis XIV of France (Alan Rickman) has commissioned a new garden for the palace of Versailles, and instructed his landscaper Andre (Matthias Schoenaerts) to the task. He interviews many different garden designer for the garden’s various segments, finally settling upon the alternatively-minded Sabine (Kate Winslet) for the role, much to the chagrin of the men who will be working under and alongside her.
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The Hateful Eight

John Ruth “The Hangman” (Kurt Russell) is a bounty hunter known for bringing in his bounties alive, regardless of the difficulty in doing so. His latest conquest is Daisy Domergue (Jennifer Jason Leigh), but whilst transporting her by stagecoach through a brutal winter storm, he is forced to stop off at Minnie’s Haberdashery to wait out the blizzard. On his way there he picks up a fellow bounty hunter, Major Marquis Warren (Samuel L. Jackson) and the new sheriff of the town they’re heading for, Chris Mannix (Walton Goggins). Upon arriving at the haberdashery, Ruth and the others find Minnie nowhere to be found, and four strangers (Tim Roth, Michael Madsen, Demian Bichir and Bruce Dern) holding the fort instead.
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Gentlemen Prefer Blondes

Best friend singing-dancing double act Dorothy Shaw (Jane Russell) and Lorelei Lee (Marilyn Monroe) have very different approaches to love. Dorothy is looking for a penniless hunk for a night of passion, whilst Lorelei is content settling down with her bookish but extremely wealthy fiancĂ© Gus Edmond (Tommy Noonan). When Gus’ father imposes upon the upcoming wedding, Lorelei and Dorothy jump aboard a cruise ship to Paris, with the intention that Gus will join them at a later date and they will have the wedding in France. However, once aboard the ship the wealth-obsessed gold-digging Lorelei soon finds her attention drawn to Sir Francis “Piggy” Beekman, the owner of a diamond mine.
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Kiss of the Spider Woman

This review was originally written for Blueprint: Review.

In a prison in Brazil, two cellmates – cross-dressing homosexual Luis Molina (William Hurt) and aggressive political prisoner Valentin Arregui (Raul Julia) – form an unlikely friendship as Luis recounts one of his favourite films to pass the time.
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Heaven and Earth Magic

I’m not going to waste any more time on this than I have to. Heaven and Earth Magic is, to quote John Cleese, a senseless waste of human life. It’s 66 minutes of crude, jerky, 1950s stop motion that pieces together to form not one single iota of sense. It’s the kind of film where trying to decode the nonsense and assemble some kind of coherent narrative would drive you utterly insane, because it’s nothing but objects and outlines, interacting with one another in increasingly bizarre ways. Any such plot that could be assigned to the goings-on would do so via great leaps of metaphor, and many threadbare external references applied.
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