After the eventfulness of February, March just kind of trundled along for me. It wasn’t the most exciting of months, and honestly there’s not a lot to report. I got back on some podcasts, failed another marathon attempt (less dramatically than last time, more on this later) but no-one else in my household – or in fact anyone that I know of – got COVID, so there’s that. Let’s skip the preamble and get straight into the movies, shall we?
Honourable mention: John McClane & Zeus Carver (Bruce Willis & Samuel L. Jackson), Die Hard With A Vengeance
OK, technically neither John nor Zeus (who does not look Puerto Rican to me) are taxi drivers, but at various points throughout this New York-set sequel they do drive a taxi, so technically they are taxi drivers, and therefore eligible for this list. I’ve loved Die Hard with a Vengeance since many years before I even saw Die Hard, and I think it’s the bickering relationship between the two that drew me to it. Specifically, I love the scene in which the two must make it across town in a very short amount of time, during rush hour traffic. The solution? drive straight through Central Park, ploughing through cyclists and pedestrians alike. This scene gives way to my favourite line in the film, when Zeus asks if McClane is aiming for the people, he replies “No, well, maybe that mime.” Other great taxi drivers I could have used are the pain in the ass sports fan who Cuba Gooding Jr. is lumbered with in Rat Race, Darwin (Edi Gathegi) the underused evolving mutant in X-Men: First Class, who we first meet driving a cab, Beauregarde from The Great Muppet Caper, Alan Ford in An American Werewolf in London, J B Smoove in Date Night and the terrifying, snarling, grotesgue “Ain’t much better in here, kid” guy from Home Alone 2.Continue reading →
Last week I took a look at some of the movies of which the general consensus is they are classics, but I don’t necessarily agree. As promised, this week here’s the flip side to that coin, the films that I love, but others may think I’m a little stupid for doing so. These are basically guilty pleasures that I really should know better than to enjoy, but that doesn’t mean watching them can’t stick a goofy grin on my face and make me forget whatever other crap is invading my life.
5. Con Air I’d argue with many people that this isn’t actually a bad film, it’s just highly implausible and tremendous fun, when a band of some of the most dangerous criminals in the world, led by John Malkovich’s Cyrus ‘The Virus’ Grissom, take over the plane transporting them to a new prison. Nic Cage is our justifiably law-breaking Navy seal hero catching a ride home with his ridiculous hair, and John Cusack the only man on the ground who believes in him. The cast is as impressively diverse as the film (Ving Rhames, Danny Trejo, Mykelti Williamson, Dave Chapelle, M. C. Gainey, Colm Meaney) and Steve Buscemi plays a cannibalistic paedophile. Who (SPOILER) gets away. As in, he’s free. In a casino, gambling, in public. We’re told he once drove around wearing a young girl’s head as a hat. Earlier in the film, he has tea with a little girl playing with a doll, and later we see a smashed tea cup, the girl nowhere to be found. So, presumably he killed her, possibly eating her? This is the oddest scene to put into an action film, especially when you consider Buscemi’s Garland Greene isn’t in the top 3 antagonists! And did I mention he gets away? And no-one seems to be looking for him? Continue reading →