Burying the Ex

This review was originally written for Blueprint: Review.

Max (Yelchin) is not happy with his life. He works a demeaning job, his half-brother Travis (Cooper) uses Max’s apartment as a bachelor pad, and Max’s girlfriend Evelyn (Greene) is an eco-obsessed control freak, keen to dominate every aspect of Max’s life. He’d have broken up with her by now if they weren’t constantly having sex. One day, however, Max finally works up the courage to dump Evelyn, only for her to die just before he is able to. Problem solved, right? Nope, because Evelyn comes back from the dead, with plans on turning Max into a zombie too, so they can live together, forever. Max is, understandably, less than keen on the idea, especially seeing as he’s just met the perfect girl for him, hipster ice cream parlour owner Olivia (Daddario).
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Star Trek Into Darkness

Previously on Star Trek… James Tiberius Kirk (Chris Pine) was born during an attack upon the spaceship his father, Thor, was briefly captaining. His Dad gave his life so James and his mother (House‘s Jennifer Morrison) could survive. James grew up to be a reckless, rebellious dropout with a way for the ladies but not much else going for him, until a bar fight saw him catch the eye of Christopher Pike (Bruce Greenwood), a Starfleet captain, who recommended Kirk sign up. Kirk does so, and eventually ends up captaining Pike’s ship, the Starship Enterprise, along the way compiling a trusty crew including emotionless half Vulcan Spock (Zachary Qunito), frenetic engineer Scotty (Simon Pegg), ship’s doctor Bones (Karl Urban), communications officer Uhura (Zoe Saldana), helmsman Sulu (John Cho) and navigator Chekov (Anton Yelchin).

movies_startrekintodarkness1Now, Kirk is still captaining the Enterprise and investigating other planet’s life forms. On a routine reconnaissance mission to observe the primitive planet of Nibiru, things do not necessarily go to plan when an active volcano threatens to wipe out the indigenous species. Kirk’s solution to the predicament is frowned upon back at Starfleet, and his ship is taken away from him and returned to its former captain, Pike. Meanwhile, a former member of Starfleet, the necessarily tediously named John Harrison (played by the incredibly un-tediously named Benedict Cumberbatch), begins to wage a one-man war against Starfleet, beginning by blowing up a data archive. Kirk takes it upon himself to, along with the rest of his crew, track Harrison down and bring him to justice. Continue reading

Unlisted: Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists

The closest the UK will ever have to a Pixar, and to be honest not that far off really, Bristol-based Aardman Animations have spent years toiling away at another masterpiece, this time based on the first in a series of ridiculous yet thoroughly entertaining books by British author Gideon Defoe. Just like Wallace and Gromit, Chicken Run and everything else Aardman has ever left a plasticine thumbprint on, Pirates is imbued with a timeless sense of humour in a world that almost – almost – makes sense, but is always hilarious.
We follow the Pirate Captain (Hugh Grant on the finest form he’s been in years) and his rag-tag band of misfits (including Martin Freeman, Brendan Gleeson and Ashley Jensen) along with their definitely-not-a-parrot mascot Polly as they set out to win the much coveted Pirate of the Year award, against rivals Lenny Henry, Salma Hayek and Jeremy Piven (whose voice really annoyed me as I couldn’t place it for the entire film). The only problem is… the Pirate Captain is a pretty useless pirate, with every plundering attempt ending in failure. Fortunately, a chance encounter with a repressed, desperate Charles Darwin (David Tennant) leads to all manner of escapades, including entering a scientific competition and a run-in with a furious Queen Victoria (Imelda Staunton, half the cast are Harry Potter actors).
If I have to find a flaw, it’s that everything moves by so damn quickly. Every character is a brilliant creation, yet few are on screen long enough to fully appreciate them, and often the rapid progression of the plot gives a feeling that some jokes are left by the wayside, 88 minutes long is nowhere near enough, but one feels the animators are happier their wrists were not strained further. The one character who really should have more screen time is the scene-stealing, self-subtitling monkey.
Choose film 8/10