Shark Bite lyrics and music video

Posted on June 1, 2022 by jaycluitt

First off, a little back story. As you may know, I’m one of the hosts of Deep Blue Sea: The Podcast, where we’ve covered the entire Deep Blue Sea trilogy one DVD chapter at a time, and are now watching Deep Blue Sea-adjacent films, one a week, with the vain hope that eventually Deep Blue Sea 4 will be released and deemed good enough to spark a box office shattering franchise. Essentially we’re hoping it pulls a Fast & Furious, but with significantly more sharks and an at least equal amount of Kurt Russell. Recently we covered the 2011 movie Shark Night, directed by David R. Ellis and starring Sara Paxton, Dustin Milligan and Donal Logue. That film features a music video at the end of the credits (on the US release, it appears to have been removed in other countries) featuring the majority of the cast rapping a song inspired by the events of the film. It is exactly as glorious as that sounds, and you should absolutely go watch it here. For our 100th episode of Deep Blue Sea: The Podcast we recorded a special episode digging deep into the song and music video but, in my research, I found that the song’s lyrics were not transcribed anywhere online so, being the hero that I am, I now present to you the lyrics for Shark Night‘s Shark Bite:

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Countdown to Infinity War: Spider-Man: Homecoming

Posted on April 18, 2018 by jaycluitt

The third Avengers move is due to be released in under a fortnight and frankly I’m more than a little excited about it. In preparation for the last Avengers film my buddy Robert and a couple of his friends took a look at all the MCU films running up to it, and they’re doing the same for Infinity War, only this time they’ve invited me to tag along. I’ve already contributed to some of the other posts, but the one I’ve been handed to focus on is Spider-Man: Homecoming, and I couldn’t be happier. Before you read this, go check out these other reviews, written by Robert from To The Escape Hatch, CT from Nerd Lunch and Pax from Cavalcade of Awesome:

Avengers: Age of Ultron
Ant-Man
Captain America: Civil War
Doctor Strange
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

And now, he’re my coverage of Spider-Man: Homecoming: Continue reading →

Wiener Dog

Posted on February 21, 2017 by jaycluitt

This review was originally written for Blueprint: Review.

Todd Solondz is almost the dictionary definition of an acquired taste when it comes to film. For most directors, subjects like rape, dead parents, domestic terrorism and a lifetime of remorse wouldn’t necessarily inspire a comedy, yet they’re all par for the course with Solondz in this darkly comic anthology following the various owners of an ambivalent female dachshund.

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Steve Jobs

Posted on August 19, 2016 by jaycluitt

During the preparations leading up to the public unveiling of three products – the Mackintosh in 1984, NeXT Computer in 1988 and iMac in 1998 – business “composer” Steve Jobs (Michael Fassbender) deals with the same handful of people and problems, including his friend and marketing associate Joanna Hoffman (Kate Winslet), co-Apple-founder Steve Wozniak (Seth Rogen), engineer Andy Hertzfeld (Michael Stuhlbarg), Apple CEO John Sculley (Jeff Daniels) and Chrisann Brennan (Katherine Waterstone), Steve’s ex-girlfriend and the mother of his potential daughter Lisa.
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Men & Chicken

Posted on August 15, 2016 by jaycluitt

This review was originally written for Blueprint: Review.

Brothers Gabriel and Elias (David Dencik & Mads Mikkelsen) discover they were adopted after their apparent father passes away. Elias’ mother died in childbirth, and the fate of Gabriel’s is left unclear, so the pair set out to discover their biological parentage. Their quest takes them to the small island of Ork, a place with barely 40 inhabitants, and a dilapidated house believed to be the home of their father. Upon their arrival, Elias and Gabriel face another shock when they meet their three other half-brothers, aggressive but protective Franz (Søren Malling), gluttonous Josef (Nicolas Bro) and simple Gregor (Nikolaj Lie Kaas). The brothers live in a state of disarray and constant fighting, which Elias fits right into, but Gabriel attempts to reform it, all while persisting to find his father and uncover the secrets of his mysterious basement.
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Hail, Caesar! (2016)

Posted on August 11, 2016 by jaycluitt

Eddie Mannix (Josh Brolin) is a put-upon movie producer for Capitol Pictures in 1951. Over the course of one 27-hour period he must deal with rival gossip columnist twins Thora and Thessaly Thacker (Tilda Swinton), a rising western star (Alden Ehrenreich) being reimagined as a dramatic actor, much to the chagrin of his new director (Ralph Fiennes), the unexpected pregnancy of a swimming starlet (Scarlett Johansson), offers for Mannix himself to change to a high powered position in another company, as well as the supposed kidnapping of major star Baird Whitlock (George Clooney) by a Communist cell calling themselves “The Future” and the fall-out from Whitlock’s disappearance, which is delaying the production of a lavish epic.
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Triple 9

Posted on August 3, 2016 by jaycluitt

After a crew of thieves – including two corrupt cops – partially botch the robbery of a bank’s safety deposit box for Russian gangsters, the team are given another chance and their fee is withheld until she successfully steal more information, key to the release of the gang’s boss. The only way to pull off the heist is to distract all the local cops long enough for a decent window of time, and the corrupt officers Marcus (Anthony Mackie) and Franco (Clifton Collins Jr.) believe the best way to do this is to pull a “Triple 9”, to kill a cop. And they think they’ve got the perfect target in Marcus’ new greenhorn partner Chris (Casey Affleck), the nephew of prominent Detective Sergeant Jeffrey Allen (Woody Harrelson). Meanwhile, the thieves’ leader Michael (Chiwetel Ejiofor) receives grief from the Russian boss’ wife Irina (Kate Winslet), whose sister (Gal Gadot) is the mother of Michael’s son. The rest of Michael’s team is comprised of Russell (Norman Reedus) and his younger, unstable brother Gabe (Aaron Paul).
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Bridge of Spies

Posted on June 14, 2016 by jaycluitt

Brooklyn, 1957. British-Russian Rudolf Abel (Mark Rylance) is arrested and charged with being a Soviet spy. In order for him to receive a fair trial he is assigned a defence lawyer in the form of James B. Donovan (Tom Hanks). Donovan has no choice but to accept the case, despite it being a guaranteed lose for him – the judge already calls Abel “The Russian” and has no qualms with admitting he has decided Abel is a spy before the case has even begun – and the case also puts a strain on Donovan’s personal life, with his family being attacked and Donovan being shunned in public. Even the police who respond to the call from the attack threaten to fight Donovan, yet he continues and pursues the case even deeper. After the case is over, American pilot Francis Gary Powers (Austin Stowell) is shot down using a secret spy plane, photographing key areas of the Soviet Union. When Powers is imprisoned within the USSR, Donovan is once again called upon to resolve the situation.
hanks bridge Continue reading →

Room

Posted on May 22, 2016 by jaycluitt

This review was originally written for Blueprint: Review.

Today is Jack’s birthday, he is five years old. To him, the whole world is Room, an 11×11 foot enclosure outside of which he has never been. He lives with his mother, Ma, plays with Egg Snake under Bed, eats with Meltedy Spoon and sometimes, when Old Nick visits, Jack has to sleep in Wardrobe, counting the groans before Old Nick falls asleep. The stuff on TV is all fantasy, things that don’t exist in real life. Jack’s world ends at the walls, the floor, the ceiling, the skylight and the heavy metal door, locked with a keypad combination. Beyond that, there is nothing.
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The Revenant

Posted on February 24, 2016 by jaycluitt

Whilst guiding a team of fur trappers in the snowy North American wilderness of the 1820s, Hugh Glass (Leonardo DiCaprio) finds himself in a pretty poor state after being mauled by a bear whilst the group is fleeing a surprise attack from a Native American tribe they refer to as the Ree. Being unable to carry Glass back safely without endangering the rest of the team, captain of the party Andrew Henry (Domhnall Gleeson) requests Glass remain behind but be cared for and properly buried when the time comes. He leaves Glass under the protection of bitter, greedy trapper John Fitzgerald (Tom Hardy), naive and inexperienced Jim Bridger (Will Poulter) and Glass’ own half-Native American son Hawk (Forrest Goodluck). Circumstances arise that see Glass being abandoned with life still, barely, coursing through his veins, and he finds himself driven by vengeance against those responsible for abandoning him.
horse Continue reading →