We are twenty two days into 2016. Three weeks and one day. And so far I haven’t watched a single film in my own home. Not only that, I haven’t reviewed a single film either. Needless to say, I’m getting more than a little behind. You see, whilst my TV and my blog have been gathering dust, my January has so far been rather eventful.

Two weeks ago I went to China for a week on business. China is, in a word, terrifying. Specifically the roads, which alas we had to traverse multiple times a day, and during each journey I could be found clutching desperately to that pathetic little ceiling-mounted handle like I was 20,000 feet in the air and it was my only parachute. Driving in China is very different from in the UK, in that the drivers don’t actually turn their heads. Their eyes may flit to the mirrors from time to time, every half an hour or so, but manoeuvres, which are often made without the aid of a blinking indicator, are ploughed into with an amount of confidence I found more than unnerving. If, mid-lane-change, it turns out there’s another vehicle already in the way, horns are beeped and drivers return to their lanes until that car has passed, at which point the change is attempted again. The cyclists didn’t help matters either, heading in whichever direction they wished, oblivious to any kinds of traffic lights and bereft of head protection, with up to four people for every two wheels. The strange thing is, there weren’t all that many accidents. The occasional car had a scratch or a dent, but for the most part the automobiles were in pristine condition and we only saw maybe two or three cars sat at the side of a road awaiting assistance.

Food-wise it wasn’t exactly the Chinese takeaway I’m used to (and which I’m enjoying tonight), with the suppliers we met with taking us out for all manner of local delicacy, including sea snails and chicken feet. I tried the former but not the latter, because well, they’re chicken feet. That’s not supposed to be eaten. The worst thing I ate was actually tofu, mainly because it’s even less like food than chicken feet. It’s like eating gelatinous clouds. It’s albino pond scum. Bland, soggy soap. Blurgh. Also, tea. Lots and lots of tea. You’d think being an Englishman I’d jump at the chance for a nice cuppa, but in reality I’d never actually tried tea before in any form, and having now tried some I won’t be rushing back to any.

Since arriving home from China (we also spent a couple of days in Hong Kong, where it just pissed it down with rain) my sleep schedule has been rocked so much that I’ve had difficulty staying awake in the evenings, hence the lack of viewings and reviewings. I did, however, watch some films on the flights to and from the East, so let’s get into those shall we? Here’s what I’ve watched over the past couple of weeks:
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Author Archives: jaycluitt
My Week in Movies, 2016 Week 1, plus 2016 Plans
2016 has not begun well. I never had a pet as a child. I remember asking my parents for a hamster for my birthday and Christmas every year until, when I was about fourteen, they gave me a battery-powered chipmunk in a plastic ball which, evidently, was not designed to roll down a flight of stairs. That ended my quest for domesticated creatures until six-and-a-bit years ago, when I began dating my lovely girlfriend Aisha. She’d always had pets, so it was inevitable that someday we would too. She always wanted a dog, but that seemed like a giant leap for a non-pet-owner such as myself, so we began small with my first pets, the relatively easy to care for mini lop rabbits, mother and son Goldie and Copper. Copper was my favourite, by virtue of Goldie occasionally being somewhat aggressive and escape-happy, whereas Copper just loved hopping round the garden sniffing and tasting everything. When we got Murphy, our labradoodle puppy, last year, he took priority over the rabbits purely because of how time-consuming taking care of him was, but feeding the rabbits twice a day and letting them hop around now and then was always something I looked forward to, because I’d get to interact with Copper who, I should point out, was the softest thing in the world, and remained my favourite pet in spite of Murphy’s uncontrollable fluffiness. Sadly last Sunday Copper passed away. He was my first pet, my first to die, and the first I’ve had to bury, and I miss him a great deal. If you’d told me years ago that there’d come a time where I’d spend much of a day – literally hours – crying over a dead rabbit, I’d meet your comments with bemused derision, yet here we are. Goldie remains unphased and Murphy is now top of the adorable list, but Copper will always hold that place as my first pet.

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2016 Oscar Nomination Predictions
Every year Shane over at Film Actually hosts an Oscar nominations contest, wherein we try to guess what films will be nominated. I took part last year and by some utter fluke won a Blu-Ray of Her, so I figured I’d give it a shot this year too. Bear in mind that amongst this year’s contenders I’m easily one of the least qualified, as of the 42 films amongst my predictions I’ve only seen 9, so this is all guessing of the highest order. So, without further ado, here’s what I think will be receiving nominations next Thursday: Continue reading
My Week in Movies, 2015 Week 52
Happy New Year everybody! I’ve got a lot to get through in this post so I’ll keep the intro brief. This is the wrap-up for 2015’s goals, as well as a run-through of the films I’ve watched in the past week and a half. I’m going to post these weekly updated on Fridays from now on, for no real reason other than I think it’d suit me better. Also, I’ve got goals for 2016, but I’ll get to those in another post. As you’re about to read I’ve had an incredibly busy few days recently, so apologies for the brevity of some of these mini-reviews. Here’s what I watched recently:
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Rashomon
Whilst waiting out a storm in a run-down gate, two men who have recently appeared as witnesses in a case before a court recount the case to a third stranger as they attempt to make sense of the various contradicting accounts.
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The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance
In the town of Shinbone, Senator Ransom Stoddard (James Stewart) and his wife Hallie (Vera Miles) have returned for the funeral of Tom Doniphon, a man who evidently meant a great deal to them. When asked by the local press, Ransom recounts a tale of his youth, which began when he arrived at Shinbone an idealistic young lawyer intent on bringing a sense of law and justice to the west, a quest intensified after he is assaulted by vicious bandit Liberty Valance (Lee Marvin).
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Brazil
Somewhere in the 20th Century, the world has become an Orwellian dystopia of farcical proportions. In a world where no mistakes are acknowledged, a random swatted fly falling into a typewriter causes a man named Buttle to be arrested in place of rogue terrorist heating engineer Harry Tuttle (Robert De Niro). Tasked with tying up the error’s loose ends is Sam Lowry (Jonathan Pryce), a menial yet essential worker within the Department of Records who his boss Mr. Kurtzmann (Ian Holm) would be lost without if he were ever promoted. Sam finds his quest to rectify the situation exacerbated by the likes of his plastic surgery-obsessed mother (Katherine Helmond), less than efficient government-employed heating technicians (Bob Hoskins & Derrick O’Connor), executive desk trinkets and his own dreams which see him flying around saving his literal dream girl (Kim Greist) from monstrous demons.
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Shaft (1971)
John Shaft (Richard Roundtree) is a private detective in New York City. Apparently he’s cool, tough, a sex machine with all the chicks, he doesn’t take orders from anybody, but he’d risk his neck for his brother man. People talk about him, and ask others if they can dig it. I’m not entirely sure what “it” is in this scenario, but whatever. A Harlem crime boss named Bumpy (Moses Gunn) tries to recruit Shaft to track down his kidnapped daughter, whilst the police, primarily Lt. Vic Androzzi (Charles Cioffi), needs Shaft to get information on a burgeoning gang war between the African American gangs and the Italian mobs.
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Come Drink With Me
Two arrested bandits are being transported by the governor’s son Chang (Wong Chung) when the bandit gang sets upon them, rescuing their members, slaying all of Chang’s men and taking him prisoner. Legendary warrior Golden Swallow (Cheng Pei-pei) is sent to rescue Chang, who is also her brother, and along the way she receives help from a kung fu master living as a drunken beggar named Drunken Cat (Yueh Hua).
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The Last Metro
In Nazi-occupied France, Jewish theatre director Lucas Steiner (Heinz Bennent) has apparently fled the country to South America, but is in fact living in the cellar of his theatre, with only his wife Marion (Catherine Deneuve) knowing of the situation. The theatre keeps running, with Marion as the lead actress in the last play Lucas wrote before exile. Lucas listens to the play rehearsals during the day and gives Marion notes in the evening, which she passes on to the new director Jean-Loup Cottins (Jean Poiret) the next day. They have a rising star lead actor in Bernard Granger (Gerard Depardieu), who in turn has a roving eye on all the women in the company, including the costume designer (Andréa Ferréol) and a younger actress (Sabine Haudepin). The film follows the play’s production from casting through rehearsals into opening night and beyond, tracking the lives of the players and the impact of the Second World War.
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