Movie 43

Posted on August 14, 2013 by jaycluitt

After Baxter (Devin Eash) plays a YouTube prank on his older brother Calvin (Mark L. Young) and his friend J.J. (Adam Cagley), Calvin decides to take revenge. He sends Baxter on an online mission to find the mythical – and apparently fictional – ‘Movie 43‘, a video so foul and depraved that it’s been banished to the furthest corners of the internet, whilst Calvin fills Baxter’s laptop with pornography and viruses. Apparently the video will, if seen, bring about the end of humanity, the destruction of the world, and will make him pull his own penis off, and we are treated to all the videos that Baxter encounters on his search. Continue reading →

Superman The Movie

Posted on August 13, 2013 by jaycluitt

On the planet Krypton, the elders have disrupted the planet’s core and caused it to begin to erupt. Everyone on the planet is doomed, except for a small, barely explained plot contrivance that allows one newborn baby to be launched in a pod and sent to another planet that will be hospitable to him, but where the atmosphere and density are different enough to provide him with extraordinary powers. Krypton explodes, but the baby arrives safely on Earth, where he lives his life as a loner, the last of his kind… wait a minute, didn’t I write this the other week? Hmmmm. Anyway, Kal-El…Earth…Smallville…the Kents…Metropolis…Lois Lane…Daily Planet…Kryptonite…Laser vision…flying…Superman. Continue reading →

Double Indemnity

Posted on August 12, 2013 by jaycluitt

When a successful insurance salesman visits a client’s house to discuss the renewal of some expired car policies, the last thing he expected was to become embroiled in a plot involving murder and deception, yet that is exactly what happens when he meets his client’s beautiful yet scheming wife. Continue reading →

The World’s End… and an Announcement!

Posted on August 8, 2013 by jaycluitt

Hello all, apologies for the lack of content recently, the house move isn’t going terribly well and my time is somewhat limited at present, but I’m working on putting some new stuff up in the near future. In the mean time, the start of my review of Edgar Wright’s Cornetto-wrapper The World’s End is below. I wrote the review for French Toast Sunday, one of my favourite sites on the web, and the rest of the review can be read there, link at the bottom of the page. Continue reading →

The Killing of a Chinese Bookie

Posted on July 31, 2013 by jaycluitt

A smalltime L.A. strip club owner out celebrating after settling his gambling debts soon finds himself at a poker table with the mafia. Things don’t turn out too well, and he ends up deeper in their pocket than intended. Instead of paying his way out, they offer him a deal – if he kills the eponymous small time Chinese bookie then his debt will be cleared. Initially the man is reluctant to take the deal, but once he accepts, the assassination attempt doesn’t play out exactly as planned. Continue reading →

Death Game

Posted on July 18, 2013 by jaycluitt

Ten strangers, all in need of money for various reasons, all apply for the same mysterious job, paying ¥112,000 (£744) per hour, for seven days. Upon arriving at the remote location they are instructed to enter an underground facility, into which they will be locked with only some simple rules to live by. Firstly, they must be in bed with the lights off by 10:00pm, and secondly, any incidents that arise must be dealt with by voting, with the ‘detective’ and ‘criminal’ in each case being rewarded. The doors will open again week, or when there are only two inhabitants left alive. Oh, and there’s a ceiling-mounted robot that patrols the complex, that will enforce the rules if required. Continue reading →

Adventures in podcasting

Posted on July 7, 2013 by jaycluitt

Hi everyone, apologies for not putting up any new content for a while, I’m in the middle of moving house, and there probably won’t be anything up for a few more days yet. If you really miss me that much, you can listen to me on the most recent episode of the Lambcast, on which I discussed the most recent film I’d watched alongside Dylan and Kai from Man I Love Films, Iba from I Luv Cinema and Nick from Your Face.
Alternatively, I recently sat down with Bubbawheat from Flights, Tights and Movie Nights to record an episode of his excellent FilmWhys podcast, upon which we discussed the Sidney Lumet classic 12 Angry Men, as well as the far cheesier but still great 1978 Superman movie, which I’d never seen before. We also meandered around the topic of superhero movies in general, and I managed to get the new Lego film in there too, as I am wont to do.

So, apologies again, but you can look forward to some coming reviews for the aforementioned Superman and 12 Angry Men, as well as a few others that have stacked up during the move. Until then, you can either go back through my archives (which I’m still re-linking after the site move, sorry for that too), or you can just go and check someone else’s site out instead. Or, you know, go watch a film, read a book, spend some more time with the kids, or go fix that shelf you’ve been meaning to get to for about a year know. This is the perfect opportunity, as soon as you can remember where you put those nails.

The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari

Posted on June 29, 2013 by jaycluitt

Two men, sat in some sort of woodland, are swapping stories of unbelievable exploits they have encountered. One man, Francis, tells the tale of Dr. Caligari, a carnival performer with a somnambulist, or sleepwalker, who has been asleep for 25 years, but which Caligari will wake up as part of the show. As soon as the man and his attraction arrived in Francis’ home town of Holstenwall, strange murders began to take place, made even more bizarre by their apparent prediction by the sleepwalker. When his lady-friend seems likely to be the next victim, Francis attempts to uncover the truth behind the murders, starting with the prime suspect of Caligari, who may not be quite what he seems. Continue reading →

Top 10… Most Annoying Film Characters

Posted on June 29, 2013 by jaycluitt

I’ve been having a hell of a week. If you ever start thinking about moving house, just don’t, it isn’t worth the hassle. I won’t get into the sources of my strife, but let’s just say I’ve been party to some intensely aggravating people these past few days, and so I’m attempting to alleviate my frustrations by thinking about the even more annoying people that are out there that I could have come across instead (or may yet do).Sometimes characters are supposed to be annoying – you’re supposed to hate them for getting the hero’s girl, or to justify why the lead girl just punched the guy in the throat – but other times some characters are just completely misjudged in terms of how they’ll stack up against Wolverine scratching a chalkboard. Oh, and whilst making this list I found a lot of times I was just writing “The kid from such-and-such”, and “The kids from so-and-so”, so my list of annoying children in film is an entirely different one, that may well come up again sometime soon. To be honest, that one could be a top 100 list, probably. I’ve also tried to limit the entries to one-per-actor, as sometimes I find characters annoying purely because of who is playing them. And I’ve shied away from characters who are irritating because they’re such antagonistic dick heads.
Honourable mentions:
So it turns out I’m fairly easy to annoy, and therefore I’ve got a hefty list of Honourable Mentions. Firstly, Ron Weasley (Rupert Grint) is horrendously annoying in the first few Harry Potter films, before he worked out his face could pull expressions that weren’t ‘petrified grimace’. Marty Gilbert (Harvey Fierstein), Jeff Goldblum’s boss in Independence Day, is also very annoying, but this is mainly due to his unbearable grating voice, but fortunately he dies fairly early on, so there’s not too much of him to endure. Then there’s Hart Bochner’s Ellis from Die Hard, who I never want to stop punching, and Clifton James’ Sheriff Pepper from Live and Let Die and The Man With The Golden Gun, somehow managing to be even more infuriating than Roger Moore’s Bond. Beth Grant’s character in Speed, Helen, the crazy woman who tries to jump off the bus, is also infuriating, but I’m going to give the award to Leah (Olivia Thirlby) from Juno, just for using such phrases as “Honest to blog.” They made me want to seriously harm that creature. Continue reading →

Out of the Past

Posted on June 27, 2013 by jaycluitt

In the small town of Bridgeport there lives a man named Bailey (Robert Mitchum). He leads a simple life running the town’s gas station with his deaf mute assistant (Dickie Moore), and frequently heads out with the town’s pretty girl-next-door Ann (Virginia Huston). He seems to be fairly well regarded by most people in the town – apart from Ann’s mother – but all this changes when a mysterious stranger named Joe (Paul Valentine) rocks up and takes Bailey away with him. You see, Bailey isn’t just a mild-mannered gas station owner. No, he has a past, and things are about to come out of it. Oh, I get where the title came from now.
Continue reading →