Volver

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Following Pedro Almodovar’s usual routine of showing women discovering unknown strengths when put under extreme situations, Volver sees two sisters, Lola Duenas and Penelope Cruz, finding new leases on life after a number of unexpected deaths to people close to them.
The film is witty and intelligent, focusing largely on conversations rather than action, and showing that good things can happen if you believe and out your mind to them, and that tragedy can lead to becoming closer to others and a better person in yourself, but my main problem with the film – other than unsuccessfully attempting to make Cruz look frumpy with a prosthetic posterior rumoured to be the same one Dustin Hoffman wore in Tootsie– is that there are certain supernatural elements that take you out of the film completely, as the rest seems so grounded in a reality that is only a little exaggerated, and even then only in the amount of cheeks kissed on a daily basis.
Choose film 6/10

Babel

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The first film to arrive from LoveFilm from the recent additions, Babel has seen my List update shoot me in the foot, as Babel is quite a long film that I’ve seen twice before, once just before starting the List, and that to be in honest doesn’t live up to its potential.
We follow the lives of four groups of people, as their existences are disrupted by a single bullet. First, there’s the poverty-stricken goat herder and his two young, competitive sons who purchase a rifle to protect their flock from jackals. We also have a wealthy American couple (Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett, both excellent if trying a little too hard in largely thankless roles) as they bicker their way through a holiday in Morocco. An Hispanic maid is forced to take the two young children she cares for with her and her nephew (Gael Garcia Bernal) to Mexico for her son’s wedding, and the deaf/mute daughter of a successful Japanese businessman struggles to lose her virginity. The multicultural cast is good, especially Rinko Kikuchi as the Japanese girl, who carries most of her story arc single-handed, but there are several scenes that are very difficult to watch – the younger of the goat-herder’s sons masturbating within earshot of his brother, a disillusioned young boy witnesses the chicken he is about to eat slaughtered in front of him and a troubled teen coming on very strongly to her dentist.
The film is entirely humourless, with barely a smile to be seen either onscreen or off, and it lacks the finesse of director Alejandro González Iñárritu’s Amores Perros. That, and the entire thing is thoroughly depressing, with only some interesting scenes – a nightclub seen from a deaf perspective – to pique the interest.
Choose life 6/10

300

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300thmovie! Yes! Nailed it! This has been a plan from the outset, that the 300thfilm just had to be 300, and lo it has been done. Finally I can stop checking the count every day of how many films I’ve watched and just get on with watching more and writing posts (I won’t).
Based on the incredibly stylish graphic novel by Frank Miller (Sin City), it could be argued that this two-hour fight scene suffers from a severe case of style over substance, with a small squadron of 300 Spartan warriors heading out to take on the thousands-strong army of Persians out to conquer their land, but whilst there is some accuracy to this, there is quite enough story behind the oceans of cool.
The Spartans, led by Gerard Butler’s King Leonidas in a role that remains his calling card after six years of mostly forgettable romcoms and mindless shooters, have been trained since birth to feel no pain or mercy – or cold, judging by how little they wear – and all live to fight, and die, honourably in battle. One soldier, when questioned as to why he has brought his adult son along to fight, replies that he has others to replace him.
It’s impossible for a man not to watch this and feel inferior. Some may see it as a rabble-rousing celebration of what it truly means to be a man – fighting and killing, safe in the knowledge your son will carry on your name – but personally I see it as a reminder of the garage-worth of spare tyres congregating about my torso, and how I’ve managed to survive almost 25 years without so much as throwing a punch. I can almost feel my ovaries forming.
The combat, and believe me there’s an awful lot of it, is wonderfully choreographed, and director Zack Snyder utilises a deft blend of colour, lighting, slow motion, shadows and speeding up to showcase its full glory. At times it feels more like a videogame, as the quantity and skill level of the foes to be vanquished steadily increases.
The occasionally flits back to Sparta, where Leonidas’ Queen (Lena Headey) tries to convince their council to send reinforcements, do a good job of breaking away from the otherwise incessant violence, but some touches – the giant troll, a bizarre goat-creature – take away from the experience, and overly-pierced big bad guy Xerxes has a voice comically mismatched to his appearance.
Look out too for an early appearance from LifeVsFilm favourite Michael Fassbender as one of 
the 300.
Choose film 8/10

A Man Escaped

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Francois Leterrier (father of director Louis Leterrier who, other than Unleashed, is really quite terrible, with a track record including The Transporter 1 & 2, The Incredible Hulk and the godawful Clash of the Titans) is Fontaine, an inmate at a Nazi execution prison. Left bloodied and beaten after an escape attempt en route, Fontaine doesn’t hang about before he tries to break out again.
This is an incredibly minimalistic film, with much of it taking place from the confines of Fontaine’s cell, tapping conversations to his neighbour or scraping away at his door with a spoon, and the camera is infatuated with the nuances of his face.
There are some glaring plot holes that could well be just a product of the time – cell checks seem to be very infrequent and less than thorough, and why exactly do the cells have a solid stone shelf, strong enough to support a grown man’s weight and accessible even to the elderly, positioned right next to the only window in the cell.
The film’s finale is at times almost unbearably tense, with no music but for the sound of trains rushing past and a mysterious creaking noise, and fans of the Shawshank Redemption – or any other prison movie for that matter – would do well to seek this out.
Choose film 7/10

Unlisted: Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists

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The closest the UK will ever have to a Pixar, and to be honest not that far off really, Bristol-based Aardman Animations have spent years toiling away at another masterpiece, this time based on the first in a series of ridiculous yet thoroughly entertaining books by British author Gideon Defoe. Just like Wallace and Gromit, Chicken Run and everything else Aardman has ever left a plasticine thumbprint on, Pirates is imbued with a timeless sense of humour in a world that almost – almost – makes sense, but is always hilarious.
We follow the Pirate Captain (Hugh Grant on the finest form he’s been in years) and his rag-tag band of misfits (including Martin Freeman, Brendan Gleeson and Ashley Jensen) along with their definitely-not-a-parrot mascot Polly as they set out to win the much coveted Pirate of the Year award, against rivals Lenny Henry, Salma Hayek and Jeremy Piven (whose voice really annoyed me as I couldn’t place it for the entire film). The only problem is… the Pirate Captain is a pretty useless pirate, with every plundering attempt ending in failure. Fortunately, a chance encounter with a repressed, desperate Charles Darwin (David Tennant) leads to all manner of escapades, including entering a scientific competition and a run-in with a furious Queen Victoria (Imelda Staunton, half the cast are Harry Potter actors).
If I have to find a flaw, it’s that everything moves by so damn quickly. Every character is a brilliant creation, yet few are on screen long enough to fully appreciate them, and often the rapid progression of the plot gives a feeling that some jokes are left by the wayside, 88 minutes long is nowhere near enough, but one feels the animators are happier their wrists were not strained further. The one character who really should have more screen time is the scene-stealing, self-subtitling monkey.
Choose film 8/10

Top 5… Trilogies

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Truly great movie trilogies are few and far between. Historically, it seems fairly straightforward  to make a good film and a sequel that either equals, tops or slightly disappoints, but then the whole thing gets sullied by a dismal third film. I’ve done what I can to find trilogies where all three films stand up. I’ve also somewhat reluctantly ignored any franchises with more than three films in it, so I’m afraid Die Hard, Indy and Star Wars didn’t get a look in, even though in each case the first three films are quite clearly the greatest. Annoyingly this also meant I couldn’t use Resident Evil as the worst trilogy, ah well. Also, no loose trilogies, like Baz Luhrman’s Red Curtain trilogy or Park Chan-Wook’s Vengeance trilogy.

Alice

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Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland is already pretty mental, so when I read that this version by Czechoslovakian director Jan Svankmajer was “memorably bizarre,” I strapped myself in for a rollercoaster of ridiculousness, and I was not left wanting.
A terrifying stuffed rabbit – animated via stop motion – bites through its restraints with eyes bulging like a cartoon, dons gloves, coat and a hat, checks its pocket watch and escaped through the drawer of a writing desk that is only a little bit like a raven. Oh, and the rabbit has ripped a gash in its chest that continually leaks sawdust like an open wound. The young Alice (Kristyna Kohoutova) follows the rabbit along a carpet of set squares and rulers and down an elevator past jars of drawing pins in chutney and various animal skulls with eyeballs.
I won’t ruin all the insanity, though there is plenty here to suffice, but rest assured some of the regular Alice beats are present – the shrinking potion and growing cake, the caterpillar, the Mad Hatter’s tea party and the King and Queen of Heart’s, but the question begs to be asked that, if everything in between the main points has been dramatically changed, why not just make a different story altogether? Plus, it takes far too long for Alice to get to Wonderland (if that’s what they’re still calling it). Imagine if Frodo didn’t leave the Shire until near the end of the Two Towers, or Harry didn’t get to Hogwarts until two hours into the Philosopher’s Stone, yet the books remained the same.
If I’d seen this as a child, chances are I’d still wake up screaming. From the burrowing inflatable sock-worms, the carnivorous animal skeletons reminiscent of Toy Story’s franken-toys, baguettes sprouting nails, living steaks, Alice crying enough to flood a room and a swimming rat hammering a campfire into Alice’s head, this is nightmarish to the highest degree. Also, who the hell is in charge of screwing on the doorknobs in this world, because they’re doing a terrible job.
Choose life 5/10

Das Experiment

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Based on a real test held at Stanford Prison in 1971, Oliver Hirschbiegel’s Das Experiment sees 20 volunteers placed in a 14-day research trial under 24-hour surveillance. Twelve of the men are given the role of prisoners, whilst the other eight are their guards. The prisoners are assigned three to a cell and forced to wear thin gowns, flimsy flip-flops and no underwear, whilst the guards have only one job: to ensure the prisoners obey the rules without resorting to violence. Among the prisoners is taxi driver Tarek (Run Lola Run’s Moritz Bleibtreu), a former reporter whose desperation for a story could lead to him pushing things a step too far.

Predictably, not all goes to plan, and the film remains engrossing with the fascination at how far the test will go, how far out of control it will become and what those involved will resort to. At times quite violent, the film’s strength lies in the relationship between the three groups – prisoners, guards and scientists – and in the frantic style of the more action-filled scenes. Rather more naked men than I was expecting though.
Choose film 7/10

Sucker for punishment

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I discovered recently that, in the most recent edition of 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die, not only had some films been added from the past 12 months (subsequently removing some of the films from the past few years, but mainly last year) but some films from earlier than last year had been added in, for example 2006’s Apocalypto, which was not in the 2011 edition, but is in the 2012. Outraged isn’t the word. It’s clear that the makers of the book were allowing themselves to benefit from the glorious gift of hindsight, allowing them to now know that Apocalypto is a much better film than the likes of An Education and Precious, but I got to thinking, what other films am I missing out on? It didn’t feel right to base my list on the randomness of the year I received the book. So after a quick Google I discovered this lovely little site, where you can find all of the films ever to appear on any of the lists, and so I’ve added the 54 missing films onto my pile, including those added for the latest book edition. Rest assured I’ll be doing the same thing for every new edition released, but I’ll try and keep within the time limit of five years. This should make January 2016 especially fun, as I’ll be finishing off the list as well as those films added only days before, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.

One quick note, I’m trying to cheat by pre-empting the list, as if I saw the films that have been added in the cinema or on DVD before they were put on the list, but only if I’ve posted a review, then I consider that film already crossed off, so the 2010 True Grit that is now present has already been crossed out, as the review can be found here. Here’s hoping that The Muppets, The Help, The Artist, Bill Cunningham New York and War Horse all appear next year! I don’t have much hope for The Woman In Black.

New additions include films I know and love (Adaptation, The Host), some I’ve seen once but want a reason to watch again (The Social Network, In the Loop, the aforementionned Apocalypto), some I’ve never seen but feel I should (The Passion Of The Christ, The Queen) and some I’ve seen, but kind of hoped I wouldn’t ever have to watch again (Eyes Wide Shut, Babel). There’s also a few fairly random additions (Meet the Parents). The list now sits at 1382 films in total, so I should probably stop writing this and crack on.