Three scantily clad go-go dancers go drag racing in the desert when they encounter a young couple. Varla (Tura Satana), the leader of the dancers, challengers the man (Ray Barlow) to a race and, when it appears he will win, she runs him off the road. The two start fighting, after Varla goads him into hitting her, and she soon kills him, forcing them to kidnap his bikini-clad girlfriend Linda (Susan Bernard). When the girls stop at a petrol station, they hear of an isolated house inhabited by a wheelchair-bound old man (Stuart Lancaster) and his two sons, Kirk (Paul Trinka) and his mentally handicapped but physically impressive young brother, known only as The Vegetable (Dennis Busch). Apparently somewhere in that house there is a large sum of money, which Varla will stop at nothing to acquire.
Continue reading
Yearly Archives: 2015
Insurgent
In a nonsense dystopia where people are separated into groups based on their personalities, four people are on the run as fugitives from the state, after rebelling in the previous film. These people are Tris (Shailene Woodley), her love interest Four (Theo James), her brother Caleb (Ansel Engort) and a dick called Peter (Miles Teller). They’ve been hiding out amongst the forgiving and generally pleasant Amity faction, but when Peter sells out the others, Caleb heads back to his home in Erudite, leaving Tris and Four to go on the run, passing from faction to faction in an attempt to raise an army against the evil Erudite, led by Jeanine (Kate Winslet) and her army of Dauntless, led by Eric (Jai Courtney) and Max (Mekhi Phifer).
Continue reading
My Week in Movies, 2015 Week 33
Sleep. Yes, I’m still on that topic. I’m pretty sure I think about sleep more than I actually partake in it, hence why it’s the subject of my opening paragraph two weeks in a row. After last week’s lamentation of its necessity, this week I’m celebrating it, or more to the point how much of it I’ll be getting tonight. You see, normally I stay up late most nights and get up early and grumpy the next day. Since we got Murphy, I unwittingly and unknowingly pulled the shortest straw in history by somehow being volunteered to walk him every morning. I’m not sure how we came to this conclusion, seeing as I start work at 8:30 am every day, after a 45 minute commute via bicycle, whereas my partner starts at 9:00am after a ten minute drive, yet still I’m the one who walks him. I don’t mind all that much, and heaven knows I need to exercise, but to even it out a little I’ve coerced Aisha into agreeing to walk the furry little beast twice a week, so every Tuesday and Friday I’ll be getting an extra half an hour in bed, starting tomorrow. And to fully take advantage, tonight I’ve also showered and made my lunch for tomorrow, to reduce the number of activities required pre-work tomorrow morning. If there was some way I could eat my breakfast tonight, I’d do it. As such, there’s a very real danger that tonight I’ll be getting a full 8 hours of sleep, and on a week night no less. I genuinely don’t know the last time that happened. As such, I’m going to rattle on through this post before being welcomed into the loving embrace of my bed. Here’s what I watched this week:
Continue reading
El Topo
A black-clad gunslinger travelling with a naked seven year old boy comes across a slaughtered village, and seeks out the perpetrators, intending to enact vengeance on behalf of the victims. Upon finding the men responsible, the man deals out some justice before moving on, swapping the kid for an adult women, who promises to love him if he can defeat the four great masters living in the desert. Later, he finds himself trying to dig a tunnel into a cavern, but first must earn money by performing street comedy.
Continue reading
Reversal of Fortune
This film was originally written as part of my USA Road Trip series for French Toast Sunday.
Sunny von Bülow (Glenn Close) is in a coma, from which she will never wake. Her husband, the aristocratic European Claus von Bülow (Jeremy Irons) has been charged with her attempted murder, apparently using an insulin overdose, in order to inherit her vast wealth and move on with his life. Claus is released on bail, and hires small time lawyer Alan Dershowitz (Ron Silver) to make the case of his appeal plea, despite Dershowitz insistence that Claus is guilty, what with the mountain of evidence piled against him. He is given 45 days to assemble a team and build a case against Claus’ guilt, which proves more difficult than he’d ever thought.
Continue reading
Robot Overlords
This review was originally written for Blueprint: Review.
After robots from space have taken over the Earth, the surviving humans are forced to remain inside their homes indefinitely, being monitored by flashing implants behind their ear. If they go outside, they are killed. However, four kids accidentally find a way to turn off their implants, and see it as an opportunity to firstly find one of their number’s missing father, and possibly end the robo-tyranny forever.
Continue reading
Mrs. Miniver
In pre-World War 2 England, the Miniver family live a happy life. Mrs. Miniver (Greer Garson) spends her days going to town and spending their money on frivolities, and feels guilty about buying an expensive new hat-type thing that I would never describe as being a hat, but her worries at what her architect husband (Walter Pidgeon) will say disappear when it is revealed that he has bought a fancy new car. They have two young children – Toby and Judy (Christopher Severn and Clare Sandars), and a 19-year old son Vincent (Richard Ney) who has just returned from Oxford and caught the eye of Carol (Teresa Wright) the granddaughter of the village aristocracy, the haughty Mrs. Beldon (Dame May Whitty), who disapproves of lowly station master Mr. Ballard (Henry Travers) entering his new rose to compete against hers in the upcoming village flower show. All these problems are thrown to the wind, however, when war breaks out, and everyone finds themselves affected.
Continue reading
My Week in Movies, 2015 Week 32
Velociraptor birthday cake!
Continue reading
The Departed
This review was originally written as part of my USA Road Trip series for French Toast Sunday.
In Boston’s grimy crime-ridden underbelly, Irish mob boss Frank Costello (Jack Nicholson) is high on the wanted list of Massachusetts State Police, who plant a mole, Billy Costigan (Leonardo DiCaprio) inside Costello’s operation. Unbeknownst to the police, Costello has performed a parallel manoeuvre, with his man Colin Sullivan (Matt Damon) infiltrating the police system.
Continue reading
My Week in Movies, 2015 Week 31
August is always an introspective month for me. It’s my birthday month (this coming Friday, in fact), which brings with it a reminder of my mortality and the finite time I have left spinning on this giant rock – I’ve always been a glass half empty guy, if you hadn’t worked that out. Not that I ever allow myself to forget this ever quickening slide into my own doom, seeing as the main driving force of my existence – or at least my blog – is the 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die. I suffer a kind of fractional life crisis pretty much every birthday. This year I’ll be turning 28 which, according to Wikipedia’s chart on International Life Expectancy, leaves me 51 years left, so I’m at my 35% Life Crisis. And that’s being generous. I have a body type and general lifestyle that one might describe as synonymous with being rolled back into the sea should I fall asleep on a beach, and my propensity for cycling on busy roads with car drivers who seem to be doing their utmost to claim some kind of bounty on my head probably means I’ve got far fewer turns on my mortal coil. So what does this mean?
Well, this birthday marks what should have been a significant milestone in my blogging quest. I started my mission of working through four film-filled lists four and a half years ago, based on the notion of a half-remembered dream or epiphany I’d had some years prior, in which I was certain I’d die at the age of 28. I don’t really believe this, but when I was gifted the 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die book, I set 28 as an achievable goal. 55 months later the grand total of films I should have watched and reviewed sits at 1,494, and I’m at a paltry 532 which, what do you know, is 35% again. Suffice to say, even if it were possible in the time frame, I highly doubt I’ll be watching and reviewing the remaining 958 films in the next 3 days, mainly because there’s roughly a solid 8 weeks worth of films to watch, let alone discuss. So I’ve failed the initial mission. Rats. I’ve also worked out that so far this year I’ve reviewed 51 films from the 1001 List, as well as a smattering of others from the various other lists. If I keep going at a similar pace, and not counting the new additions added to the 1001 List every year, I should finish in about nine and a half years. Let’s say 10, and we’ll be including those films added in from now as well. Ten more years. Fifteen in total. A failure rate of 200%. And that’s not allowing for any major changes my life may take between now and then. I dearly hope these changes don’t include children, but you never know what life throws at you. Had you told me a few years ago that by now I’d have a puppy and two rabbits but no pet velociraptor or even a procompsognathus and you’d find yourself talking to a disappointed and confused fellow. Now, I can sometimes be found actually smiling at the idea of owning a menagerie, so times change. What evidently needs to change is my rate of reviewing.
Someone posted a link to this post on Facebook recently. The gist I took from it is basically stop wasting time. Sort your life out a little bit better and you can accomplish something you’ve wanted to do. I’ve never been musically inclined. Judging by my CD and iTunes collection, many would tell you I’m not a fan of music whatsoever, so my achievable goal must lie in a different direction, and that rather glaringly points towards my lists. Whilst I disagree with some of the scheduling referenced in that post (whilst 8 hours of work a day may seem fine for some, my work day is 9 hours, plus a daily total of 90 minutes commuting on the aforementioned bipedal torture device), it’s become clear to me that a better structure to my day – nay, life – will result in a more efficient completion of this list. I’d hope to be done with it before I turn 40, yet some days that looks like a reality. So, this week I’ve made an effort to knuckle down and get stuff done. Granted it’s been a busy week, what with a wedding, family barbecue and an impromptu evening of badminton (I figured the cetaceous nature of my frame could be improved upon as well), but looking at everything I accomplished blog-wise this week I’m quite impressed. I mean, I watched a total of three films, only one of which was relevant to anything, and wrote two whole reviews. Oh. Shit. Here’s what I watched this week:
Continue reading