2014 Review of the Year Part 3 of 3

Here it is, the final part of my review of 2014 (that’s, for various reasons, taken me a little longer to write than anticipated, seeing as last year I posted a third of the whole list a day for three days straight). You can read part 1 of the list here, and part 2 of the list here. Or, you can skip them entirely because really, the only important part is here, with my Top 20 Films of 2014: Continue reading

Top 10… Movie Houses

Homes. We all have them. Well, homeless people don’t, but I’ve found my readership is made up with less and less of these people every day, so I can safely assume that if you’re reading this then you probably have a home. As I mentioned on a recent Lambcast (with Justin and Dylan, both from Man, I Love Films), I’ve just moved house (or “moved,” as they refer to it). Regular readers will know this has been a long and drawn out process, so I thought it deserving of a Top 10 list devoted to it. Plus, it’s my first actual house (I used to live in a flat, or apartment), so it’s something of a milestone in my life.Pit
Movie houses come in all shapes and sizes. Many films deal with a certain amount of wish fulfillment, and therefore tend to feature exceedingly wealthy characters that can afford lavish palaces in picturesque locations, and these are definitely represented on this list. However, this isn’t a list of the biggest movie houses, these are the ones that I’d most like to live in, kind of, or one’s that represent a certain kind of life. You’ll see what I mean.YodaAs always, I’ve set myself some requirements. Firstly, whilst it doesn’t necessarily have to be a house, it cannot be an apartment, as that could be a whole other list, presumably when I eventually can’t make my mortgage repayments and have to downsize. And that’s about it. No other rules. Nice and simple. Continue reading

Top 10… Movie Rabbits

Rabbits. Bunnies. Hares. Lepus. Conies. Floppy-eared, fluffy-tailed harbingers of chocolate eggs. Whatever you call them, their distinctive profiles, cute demeanour and oh-so-adorable little twitchy faces makes rabbits one of the many animals that crops up in films far more often than you might think. And seeing as it’s Easter this is the perfect time to celebrate those bouncing bundles of fluff that are the rabbits of the movies. There’s some notable omissions – I haven’t seen the likes of Watership Down or Rise of the Guardians, haven’t overly liked any version of Alice in Wonderland and couldn’t bring myself to include The House Bunny on any list. Fatal Attraction deserves a place on a list of best scenes involving rabbits, but that is not this list, and the rabbit in question doesn’t have too much of a personality, or even a name if I remember rightly, much like the dinner caught by Gollum in The Two Towers. And this has nothing to do with the quality of the films, it’s just how much I like the rabbits in question. 

Honourable mention: Jack Rabbit Slim’s, Pulp Fiction
Personally, I’m amazed it’s taken me this long to wrangle Pulp Fiction onto a list. Technically there are no actual rabbits in this film, but then that’s also the case for at least two other films on this list, but Pulp Fiction is the most tenuous link, hence why it’s only the honourable mention. Also, it’s a part of my least favourite storyline in the film, as I’m not much of an Uma Thurman fan, and could have done without the Mia Wallace segment. The club itself is pretty damn cool, even if the milkshakes cost $5.00, as the chance to be served by Marilyn Monroe, James Dean or Buddy Holly (Steve Buscemi) is just awesome. The only downside is the dance contests.
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Top 10… Anticipated of 2013

Apologies for not posting this yesterday, we had an impromptu cinema trip to see Les Miserables during the time I’d anticipated sitting down and tapping this out.

2012 was a pretty good year for movies, and it looks like 2013 could be just as good, if not better. Here’s my pick of the films I’m looking forward to seeing most this year. There’s a few that have already been released in other countries, but haven’t made their way to England yet, but in my eye’s they still count as 2013’s films.

Honourable Mention
Wreck-It Ralph
I’ve been looking forward to this film for a long time, because I do love animated films that are skewed firmly at adults. It hasn’t helped that Wreck-It Ralph has been out in America for over 2 months now, and that I’ve been hearing no end about it on The Adam Carolla Show, as he apparently voices a donut in the film. I’ve heard good things about it, but I think quite a lot of the references may go over my head, as I’ve never been a massive gamer, especially when it comes to the more classic arcade games. Anything related to Crash Bandicoot, Pac-Man, Sonic, Mario, Grand Theft Auto or Portal should be pretty clear to me, but I don’t recognise most of the villains in the picture over here. Hopefully there’ll be plenty to keep me amused though.
UK release: 8 February 2013
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Top 10… Films Of 2012

As promised, the Top lists have returned, with a vengeance! For you see, what once was five has now become ten, because y’know, when something was already a struggle to do on a weekly basis, why not double the workload? Anyway, this list is a fairly standard one for this time of year, looking back at the best films of 2012. I went to the cinema a total of 14 times last year, and for the most part I only saw films that I actually wanted to see, hence why I was able to make this list, as most of what I saw I genuinely loved. The three films that didn’t quite make it this year were, in ascending order, The Woman in Black (partly because of my terrible film experience, partly because it was quite a boring film that I didn’t want to see anyway, thanks Craig), The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (wonderful viewing experience, good film that genuinely made me happy) and Prometheus (massive disappointment, but probably better than I originally gave it credit for, if you remove my impossible expectations).

Honourable Mention
The Pirates! In An Adventure With Scientists
Aardman! In an animation with monkeys! Wallace and Gromit, Chicken Run and everything else this Bristol-based animation studio have provided (except maybe Flushed Away) are British treasures, and the closest this country is ever likely to come to Pixar. This story, based on an acclaimed series of children’s books, sees Hugh Grant’s Pirate Captain attempt to win both the Pirate of the Year competition and a big pile of cash from some easily-impressed scientists. It’s hilarious, beautifully crafted and packed with a wonderful cast, including David Tennant as Charles Darwin, Imelda Staunton as Queen Victoria and Martin Freeman as Pirate with a Scarf, and I’ve just realised that I don’t own it yet and I’ve forbidden myself from buying DVDs this year, so I can’t watch it again for a while. Bugger.

10. The Dark Knight Rises
Christopher Nolan’s trilogy closer disappointed many people, myself included, but it is still one of the best films this year in terms of spectacle, storytelling and general epic-ness. I think it may be better than I originally gave it credit for, and I desperately need to watch it again, at which point it may find itself rising through the ranks of this list. The film ended Batman’s arc nicely, with the inclusion of some interesting characters, and a truly effective villain in Tom Hardy’s Bane. I seem to be the only person who had issues with Anne Hathaway’s Catwoman, but thankfully we have Joseph Gordon Levitt, Matthew Modine and Marion Cotillard to more than make up for that. And Michael Caine was phenomenal, and I’ll be even more disappointed if he doesn’t receive a Best Supporting Actor nomination for his role as Alfred.

9. The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
 Sneaking its way onto this list after I saw it on New Year’s Eve, The Hobbit was just as entertaining as I’d hoped. There were a few niggles (The Goblin King, old-Bilbo’s introduction) but not enough to spoil what was otherwise a tremendous, and tremendously long, cinema experience. I didn’t see it in 3D or 48fps, because two dimensions and 24 frames per second worked pretty well for The Lord Of The Rings, so I felt it wasn’t really necessary here. Martin Freeman is possibly the most perfect casting in all of history as the younger Bilbo, and The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (pronounced Smow-erg, not Smorg as I’d always believed) has just jacked up by most anticipated list of 2013 (see next Friday).

8. Brave
Now this is a surprise to me too. When I first saw Brave, I was fairly non-plussed, seeing it as better than the lesser-Pixars (Cars and, presumably, Cars 2), but not as good as anything else they’ve produced. The lack of a truly compelling story, combined with far less going on in the backgrounds of scenes than I’d previously come to expect from a Pixar film made this almost boring to watch. But, after having watched it again recently (also on New Year’s Eve, immediately after The Hobbit) I found it to be nothing short of delightful, full of colourful characters, a wide variety of comedic goings on (a bear falling down stairs, what more could you possibly want than a bear falling down stairs?) and the typically magical effects from the animation wonderhouse. And whilst Princess Merida (Kelly MacDonald) will never be my favourite Pixar character (because y’know, she’s a girl), her dad (Billy Connolly) is very entertaining.

7. Skyfall
Last year James Bond came back, back, back with the help of Same Mendes, and together they made one of the greatest James Bond films in history, at least in the Top 5. Skyfall had everything a good Bond film needs – beautiful but disposable women, a nerdy Q (Ben Whishaw, brilliant), a cool car (and me noticing a car is something to take note of), some top quality British actors getting to have a bit of fun (Ralph Fiennes, Judi Dench, Albert Finney), incredible stunts and, of course, a dastardly villain, here in the shape of Javier Badrem’s Silva. Its almost flawless, except no-one really wants to see James Bond become a wreck and suck at being an agent, even if its just for a little while. This is easily forgotten by just remembering the bit where he checks his cuffs after jumping into a destroyed train carriage. Easily my favourite moment in cinema this year, with Avengers’ “Puny God” line being a close second.

6. Argo
Ben Affleck continued his quality-ascending solid thrillers with this impossibly tense extraction film, as his CIA agent formulates and performs and elaborate scheme to rescue six American citizens from 1980s Iran. The mix of edge-of-the-seat, nail-biting tension and biting, self deprecating satire of the Hollywood industry courtesy of Alan Arkin and John Goodman worked unbelievably well, and it was a long time after I’d seen the film that my heart stopped racing at an incredible pace, so fraught is the film. A cracking supporting cast featuring every jobbing character actor available (Bryan Cranston! yay!), an effective and realistic recreation of the era and a well balanced script outshines the overly Hollywood-ised ending to finish off Affleck’s best work to date, both in front of and behind the camera. Roll on whatever he decides to do next.

5. Looper
It’s officially the film I’ve seen the most times at the cinema, with a current total of 1.5 viewings after I fainted during the first attempt. The fact that I not only paid for myself but also a friend to go and see it again (in premier seats no less, and a different companion to the first co-watcher) must mean that the story was beyond captivating. The casting of Bruce Willis and Joseph ‘Joggle’ Gordon Levitt as the older and younger versions of the same guy who, for reasons that become clear, aren’t necessarily all that fond of each other and are definitely out for different goals, is just beautifully done, and I never had any problem with Joggle’s facial prosthetics. There are so many things I want to say about this film, but pretty much all of them are spoilers, so if you still haven’t seen it I can only imagine it’s because you haven’t seen either of director Rian Johnson’s other films, in which case go and watch this, Brick and The Brothers Bloom immediately, for this is a guy who does nothing but make good films. Imagine if he directed the new Star Wars films! They’d be so awesome. Joggle as Han and Leia’s son anyone? Oh, and one final shout out to Pierce Gagnon, the kid in this film, who is pretty goddamn great for a young’un. And Jeff Daniels, for being Jeff Daniels.

4. Seven Psychopaths
Christopher Walken! Woody Harrelson! Tom Waits! His rabbit! Sam Rockwell! Harry Dead Stanton! Kevin Corrigan! Colin Farrell! Crispin Glover! Michael Stuhlbarg! Michael Pitt! Everyone else in this goddamn cast! by Martin McDunnough! Yep, you know me, I’m a sucker for a character actor, so when you give me a cast full of them, I’ll go see your film (goddamn I can’t wait for Lincoln to get over here). Seriously, if at some point in The Sound Of Music Christopher Walken rose from the grave, Nosferatu-style, with a pistol in each hand and started unloading on a gang of hoodlums, I’d happily sit through three hours of saccharine nonsense just for that moment. Especially if he ended up gunning down the Von Trapps. Starting with the little girl. Anyway, it wasn’t just the cast that made me love this film, but all the self-referential twists and turns, the stories within stories, the complete disregard for even caring whether the female characters were well written or not, just everything. 

3. The Muppets
Now I know what you’re thinking, why is The Muppets, a film from 2011, on a best of 2012 list? Hell, it even won an Oscar in 2012. Well, that’s because I live in a world where I can receive a t-shirt I’ve ordered from America in a matter of days, but where it takes 3 months for a film to arrive in my local cinemas. You see, The Muppets wasn’t released here until February 10th 2012, so as far as I’m concerned it came out last year, and thus is more than deserving of a place on this list. The Muppets saw human the human Gary (Jason Segel) and his bizarelly felt-clad brother Walter attempt to track down the disbanded Muppets, with the hope that they’ll perform a show to raise money in order to save their theatre from evil rapping oil tycoon Tex Richman (Chris Cooper). Packed to bursting with cameos (of which my favourite is probably still The Big Bang Theory’s Jim Sheridan), wonderful songs penned by Flight of the Conchords‘ Bret McKenzie and more puppet-based hilarity than is probably good for your health, this even surpasses the original The Muppet Movie in terms of sheer enjoyment value.

2. The Avengers

Firstly, I refuse to call this film by it’s British name, Avengers Assemble, because that sounds really quite dull. There is little to no chance of anyone going to see this film and be disappointed when Ralph Fiennes doesn’t show up wearing a bowler hat and carrying an umbrella, so the marketing department can just accept that they were wrong on that front. Who knows, if they’d given it the proper name, this may well have been my top film of 2012. I guess we’ll never know. Either way, before it was released there was much speculation that this could be a monumental flop, all of which disappeared when the film was released and pretty much everyone though it was flipping amazing. And I’m inclined to agree. Be it Mark Ruffalo’s best-Hulk-yet (though that’s not necessarily saying much), the return of Tom Hiddleston as a villain worthy enough of requiring six superheroes (OK, four superheroes and two skilled agents) to bring him down, the deft blend of awe-inspiring action with laugh-out-loud humour or the many lingering shots of Scarlett Johansson’s backside, there was an awful lot to like about this film. Oh, and it was directed by Joss Whedon, who can really do no wrong in my eyes. Which brings me neatly along to…

I went into The Cabin In The Woods already knowing a little bit about the plot, which I won’t ruin just in case. If you have so far avoided hearing anything about it, I encourage you to continue to do so until the copy that I presume you are about to order arrives in the post, at which point you can sit down, watch it, watch it again, then come back and tell me which bits you loved so much. My Christmas was almost ruined when I failed to find this under neath the tree, but rest assured my shiny new Blu-Ray arrived yesterday, and I cannot wait to watch it soon (hopefully this weekend). This is a horror film for people who don’t normally watch horrors, a comedy for those that do, and just basically a great movie for people that like such things. Joss Whedon, hallowed be thy name, has crafted an intelligent, hilarious and brain-melding script whose concept is what I truly love. Even if, as with The Avengers, the trailers may have left me waiting for certain moments to happen, this is still the most enjoyable film I watched in the cinema last year.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

Bear with me here, this may sound a little strange. There’s these things called hobbits, which are basically people, but they’re quite a bit shorter than humans, with big hairy feet, and they live in the ground in houses with big round doors, and they have a penchant for pipes. One of these hobbits, Bilbo Baggins, is paid a visit by a wizard – stay with me – called Gandalf, who arranges for said hobbit to go on a quest with thirteen dwarfs – kind of like hobbits, but a little taller, bulkier, hairier and grumpier – to travel a really long way in order to break into a locked mountain and kill the giant dragon that’s sleeping on a huge pile of gold that rightfully belongs to the dwarves. Oh, and one of the dwarfs, Thorin (their king), chopped off the hand of a giant pale orc (a kind of, um, ogre?) after the orc (called Asok the Defiler, of course) killed Thorin’s grandfather, and understandably Asok is out for revenge. Oh, and there’s a mass of caves full of goblins, some giant wolf-creatures called Wargs, great big problem-solving eagles and another wizard called Radagast the Brown who keeps birds under his hat, their faeces in his hair and rides a sleigh pulled by big rabbits. Actually, now I think about it, there’s nothing all that weird about any of this.
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Most anticipated films of 2012

2011 is drawing to a close, and let’s be honest, it hasn’t been a terrific year for film, but worry not, in just over a week a new year will be upon us, and its already looking like a cinematic doozy. Here’s my pick of what’s likely to be saucering my eyes next year:
The Avengers
Marvel’s dream team of superheroes line up to face a world threatening attack, as well as each other, in Joss Whedon’s epic ultimate crossover.